On Friday May 6th, 2005 we had a complete double computer failure, not one but two breakdowns the church has a main frame desk top and I have a back up lap top, both were destroyed by the evil one. I told you all before that I have been under extreme attack from the devil and everyone knows that Satan is out to kill me, everyone knows it and I have been trying my brothers and sisters for the past 18 months when I have gotten this affliction in my mouth and I was a strong person well fit and now I am a bag of bones because I cannot eat. Then the truck broke down and I was caught stranded in the airport on March 28th coming back from my last bit of Hope from the doctor in Honolulu, and still when he called me on April 2nd and told me I didn’t have what he though I had, Lupus. I sent him some information on the RSD/CRPS just bits and pieces of what other people have been suffering for years and they have gone through more pain then I could imagine, I know what I am going through I can just imagine what everyone else has been going through. The technical name which is Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome and they also have a Association that their aim or mission statement is to promote public and professional awareness of this terrifying disease also called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. To make the story short I came home that night and wrestled with a spider that was as big as a small animal, and got taken by the cab driver and had to jump out in the rain because all the money I had was 20 bucks that I could spend, so I walked the rest of the way in the rain carrying all my films and reports. That was a bad night and the next day was even harder, I then had to get my truck towed and went into town with the driver to the only man I could trust at Bayside Chevron “Kent” He has helped me before and he is pictured on the friends page. Then I got a ride to the blood bank got all my blood tests and hitch-hiked back to the station. Please buy your gas there, he has helped me so much please return the favor my town of Hilo, this is my prayer, he is a good man and if you need any mechanic work done I would take it to him. Don’t forget the week before was the time to change and try some different pills for my mouth, and that whole week I was awfully sick, it was unbelievable what happened to my body and mind. My doctor bent over backwards to help me get me back on the right track. She is a wonderful person. Well my truck had to be worked on for about 16 days and I was stranded up here in Papaikou. Pastor Rob, who I consider is my best friend, gave me a ride and helped me with more then I could even expect, he has a church downtown and that is where I go and fellowship when I can. Next was the friend I had that gave me a few rides and then his car got totaled and he ended up in the ER only for a short time and they sent him home, he was all sore and hit directly in the drivers side. Then I was really stranded, I found it strange that here is a guy helping me get supplies and he got taken out of the picture entirely. Well the truck got fixed only I have to stuff plastic bags in the seems of the hood so the water doesn’t leak back on the computer that just was replaced, and my insurance company and everyone else the body shop just didn’t want to help me. The head boss at the insurance company wanted to send me out a small check for a part I found out was already there mounted on the inside, it was bent and weathered that was already there. But the hood needs to be readjusted, but that is not going to happen. So I just have to live with it and that is the way it is going to be. I thank God the truck is still drivable, I have no windows they are locked closed so it does get a bit hot. All I have is the little windows that open and the air does work, but when you need every once of gas you can get, to try not to use it except when it is boiling. I need new front tires and that would be a great blessing, and I need the ball joints worked on so they can adjust the aliment, but that will be a long time, but with God all things are possible. I picked up the truck on April 13th and parked it in my driveway and did the old plastic cover over the hood, and the next day I had a woman that does a hit and run in my driveway on a dead end road, and lowered my right side bumper. No one ever came out the police my insurance company and the woman’s insurance company, which I will never understand. And I reported it to everyone, the woman’s insurance company called and said I can go get it fixed, but when you are as sick as I am you need to find a peaceful day and bring it too another body shop. It might take a while and I can not afford a rental car, you get that money back but I don’t have it to put out. On April 26th the real estate people told me that they are going to put the house and church office up for sale, no word from the owners and they have been over twice with food and gifts and apologizing about the whole affair, they know what it is like to move especially on short notice and the truck the way it is and it does rain a lot here it is a rainforest area. They said they would help. They replaced the water heater and that was making me pay 200 dollars a month just for electric for the past 2 years, so we will see what changes, plus now the hose for the washer is twisted and has holes so you have to ring everything out that is a major field day. So I don’t know if I ever will see the electric go down. Then on Friday the 15th right after the hit and run the whole house filled up with gas and I thought my days were over, it was the end of the two tanks and the oven was one and a stew that had to be thrown away, because I didn’t have any gas till the18th on Monday plus I though I could have been blown up, that day was close. Next the real estate called and after I don’t know how many real estate people and their guests were coming in and out of the house and you had to at least tidy up, but when you are sick as I am it gets rough, besides I had know where to go, and I thought I would have some fellowship with someone, but around here they don’t care about renters, it is just another stressful hard time, no matter how you look at it. On the 11th of May I was told the house is going to be sold to an investor and I don’t have to worry about moving, well praise the Lord, Thank-You Father, Praise Jesus!!! Meanwhile from the 6th of the evening of Friday I talked to 3 Hewlett-Packard men one wanted to just destroy the whole computer and not even bother to ask if I had a disk to restore it. Then my phone ran out of batteries, then I had to wait for it to be recharged which has never happened before, then I get these people from India and they just don’t care, I guess they think Americans have money and we can just go and buy another, just scraping up the 85 dollars so I can have technical support is a bit high, just after the warranty just ran out, it is like I give up, then McAfee automatically takes money out of my credit card because they do things a month early so now that put me over the limit and there goes another credit card, I mean I am getting robbed while I sleep, food money, now the gas bill is a hundred, just to fill one tank, and it took me an hour of conversation to just get one tank filled with propane because they wanted them both filled and I have to leave, so I loose that money maybe 3 months later or even 6 I get that money back. Well after I talked to the second man from HP he said it was good that I got him again because the first guy was leading me into a destroy mode, and the second guy stopped right after he herd it was a church, you wouldn’t believe the excuses then, then I wanted to talk to a manager and I got his name but he would not be in till Monday but that is Sunday the 8th about 3 pm so I could get him in the morning of the 9th because India is about 14 to 141/2 hours ahead. I called then and they refused to let me talk to him and then they told me that a senior manager of HP would call me between 24-48 hours and they gave me that information on the 7th , I finally got around getting all the numbers I needed for HP and I finally got a woman in California she was the senior manager and she told me she didn’t get any messages to call me at all, but she offered to help me once I took it to the store and got everything backed up and recorded onto disc, because I remembered I had a bunch of new members of the congregation for The Church Ministries. You see I have know money but the congregation was so important to me what kind of pastor would I be and not have there name profile and address and phone numbers. So I had to spend at least 72 dollars just for that and I had no idea where I was going to get that.
So on Tuesday the 10th I called the only man I trusted with computers in the whole town of Hilo and I talked to him first and let him know who I was, and the woman that works there wanted to help me so much in the beginning to find a hall or a recreation area where I could preach and I asked her do you remember me? I knew it was her and she just didn’t seem to care, totally different attitude, I can’t figure people out anymore, I am always clean and where nice clothes and I have talked with her here and there because I did go into the shop from time to time. I called on Thursday, when I left the computer on the 10th on Tuesday I explained everything about the church and what is really at stake the prayer ministry and the people and how I have to continually contact them, and he said he would have it ready by Wednesday or Thursday. So when I called about 9am Thursday he didn’t even start it, which broke my heart again, now peoples lives are or can be in jeopardy and they need those comforting words of prayer and just to give them that extra edge of faith, with scripture and words like don’t give up. I called Friday and he said he will be working on it today, I mean what does that tell you. Meanwhile on Saturday I had the owner coming over and the inspector, this inspector guy parks right in my driveway, walked into this house like he owned the place, he did not care who lived there and had that type of attitude that renters are low lives. He walked around the house moved all the rugs around the door stoppers, just basically upset the bedroom and left the doors open, screen doors with no concern for the cat, or flies because next door they only have about 4-5 dogs and you open the door in this place and you get those horse flies the big ones they are impossible to get out, then he turns on the hot water heater and left it on, which cost about 5 dollars every time you flip the switch, slamming doors and draws, just leaving everything on, now get this he goes into the bedroom and ripped the towels of the back window that keeps the coldness from coming in and are hung and placed very carefully so the window is insulated from the cold air at night and throws them just on the bed, this man said no “excuse me” “I’m sorry”, “I have to do this”, “or let me tell you what I have to do”, or nothing. I have never felt or seen anything like the attitude of this inspector. You walk into a person’s house with respect not the way this guy did. You walk in the first thing you see is a religious alter and the room is filled with bibles and pictures of Jesus then carries in a ladder and wanted to get through the attic and in the process dirt soot pieces of dust and just left it on the floor and the floor was just cleaned, on top of everything else this house has a lot more termites then the owner was led to believe, then you ask to close the doors behind himself and he did not listen very condescending he would open more doors, and the flies just kept coming in. Then I talk to the owner and ask him one question are you going to live here? He says well I bought a piece of property in a rich neighborhood, and I have a six year old daughter, and I am not sure if my girlfriend wants to live here. Well brothers and sisters there is the knife that twists, now I will get no sleep again for another couple of weeks, he never answered the question, and did not give me any positive comfort answer; he asked how you like the neighborhood. He wanted to know the old owners first names so he would have some sort of the edge, for what I don't know, I said it is Mr. and Mrs., He new I was devastated from this whole ordeal when they told me I had to move, and this owner did not care how he answered the question, it was very important to me, here is my whole life, sick as I am, can’t move anything, I have more electronics in this house then anything plus all kinds of cook where and remember I was a chef and a ice carver so I have chainsaws and things that are priceless, but in a pawn shop they are worth nothing. You know it just didn’t seem like anyone cared, not about my life, and what I had to do next, and where am I going to go. Then you can over hear everything downstairs like well all you need is to put in a kitchen then you have two houses. That inspector guy was like explaining that renters are a not normal people at least that is the way it all came out to me. It was a bad experience, I had to call the computer guy at 12 noon because he closed at one and I have a Sunday sermon to put out. And then this other guy that was with the inspector guy was saying call him back in 20 minutes, and I am contemplating in my mind I don’t understand what the computer guy is even talking about , so here is the race against time I had to go to the store, so I could have him explain everything, and have these guys shooting the breeze in the basement as my life and time is ticking away, not just my life the whole church congregation and all they were doing was talking about renters.
I had to go it was 12:30 and their appointment was from 10-12 and get there before 1 before he closed and they offered to lock up and I said forget it I will just wait and that was the longest 10 minutes of them talking how to make a new downstairs, not about anything with the house and I just sat there and then finally they went out to there truck on the tailgate to talk, no "thank-you", no "nice meeting you", no "sorry we had to mess up your house, nothing", and then it took about 10 minutes just to get out of the street to back up because of the trucks parking wherever they wanted to. I was so upset that I forgot the base holder for the computer tower. And that was rocking back and forth on the floor just a bit more stress. I was never so upset, I was just never treated like that before I am a man of God I know I am supposed to be hated by the world, but dis-respect a mans house even in Jesus’ time the mans home was respected, that is why I still must pray for them, please forgive them Father for they do not know what they do. Then I get to the store and the guy is still working on it and I have had so many crashes already it is ridiculous, does it ever end. It is like he put more that 21/2 hours into it and that is all he could charge me so it is like he gave me an unfinished fixed computer. But God is in control.
I am deeply sorry my congregation, the story is below, I am writing this on Sunday May 15th and I hope to get a sermon out soon. Rev.Paul
I am sorry for not being very lively for the last 18 days, I have been very sick, and I am waiting for the prognosis when I get my MRI on the 30th this month. The thing is I feel terrible about not looking into the pending application area, I have not been myself for the past couple of weeks, and I must apologize. The pain, fever, and the absence of sleep has my thinking a bit off. There was a time there where I thought that the Lord healed me completely last week, but everything came back, with more pain, and even less sleep, since last Sunday, and this whole week has been a rough one, the good part is the antibiotics are working; the infection is going away slowly. I have only left the house briefly four times in the past 18 days, because I had to. I am starting to feel like a prisoner in! my own home. Plus the spiritual warfare is very intense on top of it all, because I am so week, both mentally and physically. I must call on the Lord constantly for strength to make it through each and everyday. I was going to post a prayer for myself, but without sleep, I could not put the words together, and the prayer ministry has suffered also for the last 18 days. I think I sent out 10 emails the entire time. That last post the cleansing of God kind of explains the warfare and what I am going through without talking to much about my affliction and sufferings combined.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 2Cor. 4:7-10
Thank-you for all your concern and you may go ahead and post what ever you feel is appropriate it seems I am on the battle field, and all I have is the Lord and my fellow brothers and sisters as I go through this. I do need all the prayer I can receive, I am a bit shaken up from all of this, and my weight has dropped intensely, and the worries and fear of this world are trying to settle in my mind. And all I can do is call on the Lord for peace and have Him fight off the evil darts that are coming at me. This affliction has been going on for along time, but these last 19 days have been more painful and uneasy with utter helplessness, then ever before. "For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me. "I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes." Job 3:25-26
God bless you and thank-you for taking time out to help me. Paul
Friday Dec 3rd 2004--- Dear Friends, brothers and sisters I do what to thank you all for all the prayers and concerns that all of you have given me. The tests came back, after a long two dreadful weeks, and I do not have Lymphoma anywhere in my chest or abdomen or pelvic area. “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Heb 10:35-36) I am still suffering from malnutrition, the extreme attacks, and my finances have been totally crushed on this same particular day. As we all say health is better than money, and we all know: “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19) “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (2Cor. 9:8) I am still suffering on the hypothesis, the MRI’s and facts for the diagnosis of Trigeminal Neuralgia for this past year, and there have been a few other problems, and complications that will be diagnosed in my brain Friday hopefully. My bilateral hernia surgery is set for sometime in January, my surgeon needs me to gain at lest ten pounds to be successful, but he was hoping for my brain surgery first, so I can put my teeth back in and start to eat normal, and I have had two cancellations for the neurologist (more attacks) which is setting me back. This whole evil health issue is somewhat of a race against time, and hopefully with all your prayers, and by the grace of God I will be sent to Straub, in Honolulu and get this Trigeminal nerve worked on, soon. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2Cor. 4:8-9) Then I can be normal again. It has been a long year with all this extreme pain in my mouth and jaw, all the infections, the swollen glands, the fevers, the headaches, lack of sleep, exercise, and the stress and living in the unknown has taken a great toll on me. I am a bag of bones and I have been weak, and when you don’t go out anywhere, and are to weak to even walk far, you end up fighting physical and spiritual loneliness. The attacks I have been getting have been so over whelming I have been pleading with God in tears everyday. “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,” (Eph 3:6) Now if we are seated with Christ far above any principality or any evil force we cannot be attacked. “There Christ rules over all forces, authorities, powers, and rulers. He rules over all beings in this world and will rule in the future world as well.” (Eph. 1:21) So if we are seated with Christ our relationship has to be constant, we need to be spiritually together so that we don’t fall back onto the earth were Satan and his agents are making decisions and are able to jump upon us and try to steal our faith. We have to maintain a balance to always be with Christ sitting above these demonic strongholds, we have to have them remain at our feet. This confidence we have makes us sure that any future attacks or attempts are to remain totally powerless, because we are sitting with Christ and in the authority of Christ, so we have to maintain our position and balance. “God did this because He wanted you Gentiles to understand His wonderful and glorious mystery. And the mystery is that Christ lives in you, and He is your hope of sharing in God's glory.” (Col. 1:27) We also know that Christ is in us, and He is our hope, we can’t fight all this evil on our own. And if evil can latch on to us they will try to steal our faith, and if we get off balance there is that chance that we could begin to lose our faith and then doubt will set in, and then the feeling of helplessness sets in. Then we are totally worthless to God, we can not please Him and we will not have God’s strength to fight any battle. “But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that He rewards everyone who searches for Him.” (Heb. 11:6) So my bothers and sisters I was in complete tears this day and God showed me this lesson. I take comfort and can boldly say that the Lord has encouraged me and has sat beside me, through all these pains, afflictions and terrible attacks. The Lord is my Helper, I will not be confused with anymore evil and trickery or the absence of love. I will not fear or dread anything anymore, what can mere man, or darkness do unto me? I proclaim the Word toward heaven, toward hell, and toward the earth. I am clothed in Christ, the powerful blood of the Lamb, for I have been made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am fully armored, fully protected, and totally complete in Him. Praise the Name of Jesus! Amen
Jan 11, 2005 -- Dear brothers and sisters, I need to give you all a medical update and a request for prayer that this double hernia surgery has no surrounding complications. As of Wed. the 5th I am in so much intense pain I can not barely move. The pain brings tears to my eyes and if I cough, or even clear my throat it is worse. Both sides are wrapped with mesh which does not give any movement without pain. We also have another problem I have been fighting an unknown disease or affliction since November 13, 03. So, for the last fourteen months I have been fighting severe pain in gums and mouth. I have not been able to eat properly and lost all my muscle weight, being a weight lifter for 23 years. Because I have been so weak, I have been planted as a prisoner in my home for the last ten months, with no energy because of the lack of food. I also have had a fever along with pain. I developed two hernias that came naturally because my body weight went below 127 pounds and I was suffering from malnutrition. So all my muscle and body weight fell downward and caused this problem. I had several letters sent to me for a disease called Trigeminal Neuralgia. I asked for an MRI for my brain and that took the insurance company 10 months and the report mentions three things wrong in my brain. One was for Trigeminal Neuralgia and two other problems were found. On the 4th before surgery I was sent to Honolulu to the best brain surgeon in the state. He told me I need not worry about the TN, by his diagnosis, He says, nothing adds up, and I don’t have it and I do not need brain surgery. Praise God! The two other parts, the cave and the clot, are minor unless they start to bleed, years ago they would have done surgery but today they don’t even think about it. He suggested I go to the mainland to a large medical university, probably in SF to get diagnosed. He knows the medical care in Hawaii is not up to the new medical findings and diseases. I am completely at awe. I am very much alone doing my work on the computer being a pastor for The Church Ministries which was going to be a church/mission for a much needed area of downtown Hilo, Hawaii. That is when this affliction started along with more spiritual warfare then I have even time to write about. I have been still active in this whole time with the prayer ministry and the church Sunday sermons and my calling and job as RE, Hawaii. I need all your prayers, not just against all these physical burdens, but I am fighting unbelievable spiritual warfare, and financial hardships. I pray and write in all my journals and they are all prayers to God to release this extreme daily suffering. I pray for a miracle. I have so much love and spirit filled knowledge to give, but there is so few out here in Hawaii, to have fellowship with, to tell you the truth sometimes it gets lonely. Many Hawaiians worship 12 gods, which is why the Christian bible based church/mission is very important here for all walks of life, plus the homeless and the poor and maybe that is why all the attacks are upon me. To top everything else off I lost my best friend. I have so much love and faith in my heart to share. Please pray for a complete healing all these obstacles to end.
If anyone knows of a top notch eye, ear, nose and throat or dental university on the mainland, could you please let me know? Thank you and God Bless everyone.
March 10th 2005, I wanted to give everyone an update on my physical and spiritual health, you are my family, I will need some prayers as the 28th approaches that I finally get diagnosed after 16 months, and that the travel arrangements are set up and secure by the insurance company. I will be seeing a rheumatologist “the detective kind” for unexplained afflictions. My fever was very high when I received the follow-up by the backup surgeon for the double hernia surgery and he said everything looks good, but he wanted me to contact my regular doctor a.s.a.p. I have been running a low grade fever for a long time almost the whole 16 months, and my glands have been swollen and I have candidiasis now and every time I receive antibiotics. We all have our burdens, and they are not the same in any of us. Some are clearer than others. These are the burdens we all see. These get our compassion and our sympathy. We come to love them with love’s warmth and help. There are others; however whose burdens are not visible or noticeable. These seem to us to have no trouble, no struggle, and no load to carry; in fact we can envy them to a point. But probably if we knew all about their condition that the Lord, the Spirit and the angels know, our envy would change to sympathy. The burdens that the world cannot see are often the heaviest. The sorrow that is hidden behind the walls, the reflection of the windows and an untouched door-bell are most of time the most distressed and the hardest to endure.
We may think that it is an easier load if we could just change places with our neighbor but in the end we would cry out to God to change us back.
There are three bible scriptures about bearing of burdens. One tells us that “everyman shall bear his own burden” KJV, or For each one shall bear his own load (Gal. 6:5) NASB There are burdens which no one can carry for us, the kind we couldn’t even ask Jesus, and the kinds that no one can share with us, we must carry them alone. Theoretically in the cause and days of life itself, truth remains with our work, our duty, the added extras that are just done, and all kinds of personal responsibilities. So you see no one can live your life for you. Friends can help you with all kinds of edification and encouragement if they are around. Some burdens are shared almost totally alone. Sometimes you go without the sympathy, a smile, a cheerful heart, with caring inspirations with compassion warmth and affection, there is many a day that you do not see or talk to anyone. And if you do they are more doctors, and soon the doctors become all you have. So you grow and strive with the word, and still yet you must live it yourself. No one can make the certain choices for you, you do try to follow the Spirit’s leading and guidance, but you have to make the decisions. And that goes with your choices too. No one can have faith in God for you, and no one can believe in Christ for you. You have to pay your bills and that has to be done by you. And you and only you can get your sins forgiven. There are so many more obligations and responsibilities that all have to be done by you. You have to maintain yourself and you have to live your own life. No one can lovingly and unselfishly take up your load and carry it for you. You may have a friend at times come and take care of a burden here and there but the rest of the day or week you are on your own. King David loved his erring son Absalom but he could not die for him, although he must have thought about it.
Then far away we have the faithful mother who can help and feels the burdens of pain, but she can only do so much.
Next we have “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2), and there are burdens that others can help you carry. The thing is no one can suffer for us, but true human friendship can strengthen the knees that are feeble and give a dose to our human hearts to give us that strength to make it and endure to the end our own sufferings. No one can do our job for us but a friend can give you that sympathy and added groups of words with the proper edification, in which you gain the power, hope, and faith to continue with your work. Sympathy is a hard word to describe, it does not take the pain away or remove the sorrow or the burden, but it does give you that shoulder to cry on and the word “companionship” a feeling or an emotion that we all need. It is a great thing to have true brotherly fellowship and just that edge of friendship rub off, to were you get a feeling that you need one another. The thing that I have been praying for is for someone to share my burdens and so many others in the prayer ministry. I have realized that I have gone almost through an unknown affliction this whole time without a human friend face to face, someone you can touch. You see I don’t feel not one of us could make it healthy through this world without someone to share the loads. And my joy I experience is when I am able to give something to someone else, like a prayer or some written word of edification to strengthen their heart and soul. So all I want to do is build up someone else’s heart and give them the strength to go on and then my own burdens will stand dormant. So I send my heart in words and prayers. So we are to “Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:10) You see we only become like Christ when we become useful to others and when I get the response of accomplishing a deed or making someone smile or there is a change in their medical health, or they get completely healed, I feel like I have accomplished something for the Kingdom, and our Lord, that I didn’t waste the time caring about myself and my own burdens, if it wasn’t for Christ, I don’t know what would have happened to me. All I know is I love God’s people and I am here to help and pray, and share the good news of what Christ has done for me, and the whole human race. And our last or the third bible scripture is “Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you” (Psalm 55:22) I can go on for hours on this subject, but this will be our conclusion, because what Christ has done just to give me the strength and the hope, the guidance and helped me the whole way during these 16 months, and He was always there for me, and just to write this all down, there were times I shed some tears just writing this, and there are times when I looked back and felt the essence of victory in my heart, and for so many others. God Bless you all, and thank you for all your prayers. www.thechurch-ministries.org
May 30th, 2005 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom. 15:33) The LORD is my light and my salvation so why should I be afraid? The LORD protects me from danger so why should I tremble? (Psalm 27:1) The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion. (Prov. 28:1) Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (John 14:27) Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, And Your dominion endures throughout all generations. (Psalm 145:13) When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. (Psalm 94:19) "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:33) "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. (John 14:27) I guess this is the reason I fight the trials and I get through them, a man gave me an awful lot of money today in church just to look up a search, and I am still in shock even tonight after I told him it was to much, he just goes well use it for the ministry, no one knows how bad I needed the money and how poor I really am, not even to say the suffering and the spiritual warfare I am up against, but I am just going to praise the Lord, I have a feeling the Lord is going to grant me the church building I need to complete the mission plan, I don’t know how but the Lord is very gracious, once you put your full trust in Him. I would say all the compounded sufferings are meant for good and they are. Rom 8:28 We all know that. I have gotten closer to the Lord in the past week or so, maybe because I am at the point there is no one else except the congregation through email. I have been getting more and more letters from all over the world and there are so many other gatherings wanting my help and words and for me to even go to all these places, and I got a letter last night that a group in Africa wanted my spirituality and more sound doctrine that I teach and most of all they wanted to be more accessible to my faith, a letter like that just put me in tears just to know that I am still on the right track and being a doer of the word and still maintaining in the will of God, and I had to write back even though the Sunday sermon takes all day on Saturday and I was exhausted, and then I am able to go to my local congregation as a visitor and be there for my closest friend the pastor, he has offered different time slots to have my own worship services running The Church Ministries name but I haven’t had the strength lately and the time I spend with Jesus and the Father is more meaningful now because I also believe they will heal me of this affliction. So the prayers and edification I send to people are not going to get me into heaven I just do it because I love people unconditionally and I feel I can help with a good part of my life and testimony, and how I handle my trials and attacks which just furthers my faith, and faith is the most important thing in this life, we have a whole eternity to spend with our Lord and there isn’t anything to fear about moving on to the next life, I worry about friends and family that all they are doing in this life is running around in the world trying to keep up with the Jones’s and work that extra hour or job for the money everyone needs, but they are forgetting that God will supply everyone’s needs, if we only give Him a chance and that ultimate trust. You see if we don’t have that faith, we would all be out there working 3 jobs just to stay ahead, and the rich don’t even think about much prayer and asking for help, so their relationships with the Lord with some, just goes downhill. When you sit in a home and have the things that God blessed you with in the first place, and then you get a phone call that you may have to move, and you don’t have much time and you don’t have anywhere to go, and don’t have the money to move or the strength to even pick up a box let alone any piece of furniture or any electronics, then you have to turn to the Lord, what else can you do, you might lose everything in the process because you have no where to even put everything, and all that everything is all God and Christianity, everything in this house and church office is God given and to be shared with other Christians. So you spend many hours in the word and in prayer and my condition is beyond any doctors reasoning, so then again I have to ask the Lord to heal me, and I know He will, I have grown a bit impatient after 18 months but I have realized I would not have learned the things I did if I was healthy and on the move, driving into town everyday and socializing with people and a regular job in a regular church. Now it has been more of a stand still I have grown accustomed to stay at home because it is either to much to physically go into town and the gas the way it is makes it more unlikely that I go anywhere, but the computer UCFM the church and the prayer ministry keeps me going, it does set a different stage of a normal pastors life, I get a ride into town for church, and someone drives me in for supplies, but most of the days I stay in this church office just working, not for any pay check but working for people and to better myself spiritually, and with enough prayer and reading the promises of God, the live-in church/mission and my healing and getting back to the way I was physically has to come through, and I do ask for all things and the bills do get paid, I can only thank our Father and our loving savior Jesus Christ for what they have done for me, and in turn I have been able to touch so many others with the blessings I have received so far to this day. Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance The Lord be with you all! (2Thes.3:16) God Bless, Rev. Paul
www.thechurch-ministries.org
June 29th 2005, Dear brothers and sisters, Hold on everyone, Desirre wrote a prayer that is helpful but we need to lay down all the facts, many people know me by Rev. Paul, I have a prayer ministry for many people on many of the major networks even before I even opened The Church Ministries, then this affliction came upon me in Nov. 03’, nothing has been done, with no diagnosis, I have seen so many doctors, they do there thing, scream and yell get frustrated, some do tests, surgeries, C-scans, MRI’s, nuclear bone scans, blood tests, antibiotic therapy, but they just pass me on to another, after some of them have made some real damage either physically emotionally or spiritually. My third doctor that was the smartest and most caring died from something unknown. He was a neurologist on the brink of figuring out my problem. I have an affliction in my mouth and live in great pain, with a fever swelling, swollen glands and a constant yeast infection, every morning I am in prayer for my relationship and for others and in the Word for hours fighting pain, a burning, throbbing and stinging pain. I have been living out of a blender for 19 months, I can’t chew or where my upper plate, and now my jaws are disintegrating and in pain, I have lost all my weight and energy since about Feb. 04’, I have trouble walking two blocks and back, I have spent all my time praying for others which is the only thing I can do to settle my stress and brings me peace, and sometimes joy. I do a Sunday sermon every week, and send out many letters and permission to use the sermon to other ministries and churches throughout the world and they pass it along into deeper territory, so I am following the great commission, and the congregation is a world assembly spread throughout. I am under so much spiritual warfare that I am flinging the sword of the Spirit every morning saying scriptures and rebuking any wrong thoughts, pleading to God. People try to help me and something happens to them to take them away from me, bad things, even people dieing, it now is getting beyond any coincidences, but still I am not sure. I understand that a true Christian needs to suffer to join with the sufferings of Christ and it is a pathway to glory with Christ, it is just getting to much, I don’t heal from the last time, it still keeps coming, everyday, every hour. So today I felt I should send out the whole story being they sold my house and church office, bible study room, Christian library and I have 23 days now and I don’t have anywhere to go, and can’t pack the things I have or even move anything, I am in tears all the time and I am 51, and alone, and my heart is shattered. I cannot even see my regular doctor she is lying on her stomach with a detached retina that just all of a sudden happened. My real estate girl had to go to Honolulu right around the time of my mother coming and her sister ended up dieing on June 2nd, then she tried to help me again and her other sister in Oklahoma went in the hospital, so she is afraid to help me anymore, she thinks it is severe spiritual warfare, I need your prayers, I love the Lord and all people, please pray for me, Next Ok I finally saw my doctor and got things situated with my medication yesterday on the 27th, I had a rough week trying to function on lower base meds where she does not have to sign the prescription . Next thing is I have to be out on the 21st of next month, because they sold my house and the real estate company told me I didn’t have to move, that was about a month ago, so I lost time there not looking. The owners come and do the yard every other Tuesday, and they wanted to be the first to tell me, being we are very close, but I heard it from the company first, there was a lot of tears that day when the owners came over to tell me about selling the house which was about two moths ago they said they have a son and it is his house and it is not their fault, I have been here for 2 years and they never mentioned a son and we are close, I don’t know what is going on. On the May 14th I met the owner and the inspector, the inspector came through this house like a animal tearing things like curtains of the windows, treating this house like there was no one here with no respect at all, that was a complete nightmare, I never met a person so rude in my life. and he had no proper etiquette and there was no excuse me, or I am sorry, or anything, no hello goodbye it was a horrible day because that was the same day I had to pick up my computer, that went crazy from another attack to stop the ministry and the church, I met the owner and asked him what he was going to do and he said he didn’t know, he might want to move his girlfriend in or he might want to move in, anyway the inspector guy took him downstairs and explained to him that renters were low life’s, and all you have to do is put a kitchen in downstairs and you can rent the house out for two families, the thing is the only shower is downstairs and he didn’t realize that there was no tube or shower upstairs, now I got word on the 6th of June from the real estate company , that I had 45 days to get out, next is I started to panic because now the rents are to high and I can’t move because of the money, plus the fact my credit rating took a dive and I could not rent a house in town now, I could rent from the same rental agency because I always paid my rent early and they always had it. But there list is way out of my price range, they don’t have anything that I can afford. Everything is done on a credit rating here because the town is so poor, when I first got here my credit was almost perfect, and I had no problem of getting a rental, now also the rents have climbed to 300 dollars more a month for a house. Apartments we can forget because they are all going to do a credit check. The only chance I have is to find an owner that just wants to rent out there property without doing a credit check, it was so bad here that they also ask for your bank statements and they will not rent to you if you don’t have lets say thousands, I got turned down by one because I didn’t have enough money in the bank with perfect credit. Now in all this confusion I met a real estate person in the doctors office, and she sent me all kinds of listings for houses, my mom was going to come out here on the 1st-3rd of June so we had everything set up for her to see a few houses, now here is the clincher, my mom says she will buy me a house here and she was going to come out and buy one, but she was in California at the same time for a wedding and when she told her boy friend that she was going to come out here to buy me a house, he sad you are going to ruin my vacation, remember my mother is not a Christian and having bad relations with this man, and my mom is not all right in her head as far as sin, and doing sin with this man, and she does everything this man says, because of sin. Then the houses that we had picked out all around 100,000 now are all gone, because of the Memorial Day weekend people came in here and bought everything. That is all she wants to spend, but the thing is she has been promising me to buy me a house for the past 6 years, and when it comes down to it she backs out of it, her boyfriend tells her it is a bad investment even now, but to tell you the truth this place is the best place to buy property, this is the last untouched area because of the original Hawaiian heritage and there are no big places to work and no major progress and companies here, so there are a few people that understand the values and how fast they can make money right here on the big island on my side of Hilo, the other side of the island is a major hotels and multimillion dollar homes like the other islands, you can’t buy anything there, now the only place left is dead center south of the island and there is nothing out there, I was going to find a place out there but it is to far away from my doctor, and the hospital etc. being I am still sick and still losing weight and I have to be close to the airport for specialists etc. If I new what was wrong with me or if I was healthy it would not matter where I lived. Now the deal is still up for the house, but all I need is a thumbs down from here boyfriend and she will not buy the house. So I am at a catch 22, my mom wants me to move back to Florida and that is a impossible, she is already going senile and I can’t leave here because I am still under the state insurance and the only caring doctor which took me a year and a half to get, and Florida will not give me the grace that Hawaii has and has given me, so I can’t leave that is impossible, especially at this time, besides the Lord sent me here to build a mission and the attack from Satan took away my preaching , my singing, my strength, 30 pounds and now I am waiting for more cultures to be taken , my tongue is black, I have a brain tumor and a “whole” in my head that they can not explain, if they start to bleed I have to go back to that surgeon I saw on January 4th, in Honolulu, he is the best so I cannot leave this area, He told me not to worry about it them, he said ten years ago I would already would have had brain surgery. So I have to face that everyday, now the only thing in the 100,000 dollar range is condos and most of them are old apartments converted, now the only ones for that range are studios, with those half kitchens and one room, plus it will take time to go through for the sale, I will take anything with a roof but now if my mother doesn’t want to fly out here or doesn’t like the idea she will change her mind, like she has done so much in the past, in fact I do not trust her, and can not count on her. She has repeatedly told me she does not want to buy something and then I die, she has said that at least 4 times, which I don’t believe that even sounds like my real mother, this boyfriend has brainwashed her, and she is not the same, maybe she is just getting old and they are both millionaires, she hurts me constantly, she talks to me like I am a complete idiot she is very much in love with herself kind of person, and she wanted me to live in a unfinished house with dry wall only, one area with a roof, no bathroom or electric and pay 100,000 dollars and that was over an hours drive, it is almost like she wants me to suffer, she doesn’t want me to have anything nice, she pushed for that unfinished house for weeks, and the guy that sold it had to drive to the gas station to go to the bathroom. No water or electric and nothing to cook on and no refrigerator, then I tell her I am sick mom then she tells me to go live in a tent, then she wanted to get a trailer and there isn’t any trailer parks, then it was an RV and they don’t even sell them on this side of the island and she wants me to trade the truck in, and find a used one. Every time I pick up the phone she has another new idea. I can not drive my truck in the rain because of the repairs they did, I have a 1 inch gap on the roof and it rained on the computer and burned it out, that cost 500+ and I am still behind over that whole thing, and I told the body man that originally fixed it, and he wanted to charge me 300 just to look at his mistake, now I have to keep plastic bags rolled up like gaskets so the rain doesn’t go into the gap an burn out the computer again, also I can not use the lights while it rains because that is how it burned out in the first place, I haven’t even gotten the truck fixed when I had a hit and run in my driveway the day after I got the truck back, but I can live with that and I have to take out the bags while I drive, and driving is to hard for me in the first place, because that is another story, I don’t feel right driving with the medication I am on, I stopped driving over 2 months ago. So I am in a big mess, here I am praying and pleading with the Lord for a direction a light a answer to anything, I am also waiting on social security and the hold up is two doctors didn’t send in the paper work and I should have had at lest and inquiry in April, and now I have to see there doctor on the 20th the day before I have to move, my stress level is up, confusion is up, and I am to weak to even pack, and I have the old owner coming over and bad mouthing me because I am not packed , he doesn’t realize how sick I am, all he wants is his money, and he will not get it if I am still here, then I talked to another real estate agent he told me if you do not have anywhere to go, it will take some time to get you out, and I don’t want to be that type of a person, but I do not want to die living in the street, I have instruments and I have all kinds of electronics and I need to put them somewhere safe, plus all my bibles all my records and files of all the doctors and so much paperwork with the church and members and sermons, plus a full Christian Library and I have a big metal file cabinet but now I got everything filed in boxes, plus what am I going to do with the furniture? I’m lost this took about 2 hours to write and I haven’t even eaten today! And it is midnight. God Bless, Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org 808-964-1247 or E-mc2@hawaii.rr.com please call or email
July 22, 2005, You know I have never ever known so much warfare in my entire life and all the games people are playing lead by some sort of evil. I have never seen so many childhood games being played; I am already having a hard enough time to drink my food and live in pain and gain enough calories with a constant fever burning off what I take in, just to survive. I have to pray for people and write a Sunday sermon. That is what I have been doing before this affliction came from the devil. But he wanted to stop me from building the mission which I was sent here to build, but this is a vast area of the Hawaiian original heritage and it still needs Christianity very bad. I also live on an impossible income but God supplies everything I need (Phil 4:19). As most of you know I had to be out of my house by the 21st, which is Thursday or today. As you all no I have been treated like a yoyo with my life and for the past couple of weeks, I tried to list everything that has happened which is totally impossible because some I just want to forget, some I don’t even want to talk about, and to some people they would think just like Job’s friends did, that I am getting punished or disciplined for some sin which is totally broken my heart already. Assistant Pastor Fred wrote me last night and was interested on what was going on and he asked me to post something to let everyone know. This area I live in there is a large percentage that still worship 12 Gods, and like I said this part of the islands is not touched big with a lot of progress, so everyone is still set in there own ways with over I would say 20 or more ethnic backgrounds, so when I came here it was like walking into a new world. As you all know most of the story, I live in massive pain in my mouth and I wake up every morning in complete spiritual warfare with an intense battle just to secure as I would say the home front, many people have told me being this house was a camp house for so many of the cane sugar workers many years ago we don’t know what actually took place in these camp houses, and how many occupied each one. Now it just looks like a normal house with a double front door- two doors one which leads into The Church Ministries office and one into the main living room which is where I sleep on the couch. I just finished a sermon on the book of first Peter about suffering, I understand and I should be joyful and look at the reward in heaven, as you know I was supposed to get out of my house and the whole church office and bible study room and Christian library to be out on the 21st. “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.”
(2Cor.4:7-11)
But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord. (Isa. 54:17)
Last month I had my regular doctor’s appointment on June 20th, My appointment was cancelled because out of nowhere my doctor had a detached retina and they had to fly her to Honolulu for an emergency eye operation then they gave me an appointment on the 23rd then they cancelled my appointment again, of coarse I had no medication since the19th hoping I could make it till the 20th then they could not call in what I needed and I needed particular prescriptions that needed signatures. But in any event this prescription timing is and can be very dangerous to the patient at hand. As I sat with my doctor today there is no other explanation for her all of a sudden getting a detached retina, the devil was out to keep us separated and to cause complete havoc and of course wants me dead. There is so much that has been going wrong and my doctor has been able to stabilize everything may it just be a prayer to a full deliverance, as you would conclude I did a lot of fighting and of course God sent his angel to hook us up in the first place, and that was done after 5 days on my knees in church, as you read past sermons and maybe a few posts you will notice that the doctor I was tricked into taking, was more of a burden than any blessing, and I was allergic to many of the medication I was being actually pushed to take, plus as I brought in medical reports saying if I am mixing what I am taking they could be lethal together, some would say how did he get away with that, well he did and he also was almost threatening me to take that garbage, and that is another story, we deal with facts and our God, we utilize the Word and the Spirit to guide our life decisions. I am living in a whole world of confusion induced by Satan and his agents, and we know our God is not a God of confusion, “For God is not the author of confusion , but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” (1Cor. 14:33) Everyday I wake up it is another drama and turmoil. We begin each day putting on the armor but I don’t know of anyone taking it off. “In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace. Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).” (Eph. 6:10-18) Ok now I am waiting all week for my real estate friend who has been out looking for a place for me to live and to take me to a house where I am supposed to live, the only place I can move without paying first an last and security, plus my credit rating is shot because I haven’t been able to work in 20 months and the only work I do is for The Church Ministries, and the prayer ministry and I am at it everyday. And the donations don’t even cover the cost to keep it on the web. “So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you. Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery]. [As you draw near to God] be deeply penitent and grieve, even weep [over your disloyalty]. Let your laughter be turned to grief and your mirth to dejection and heartfelt shame [for your sins]. Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant].” (James 4:7-10) On the Wednesday July 26th I get to see the place and it doesn’t have a kitchen it has a refrigerator and a sink, no cabinets and that would be the main room for my work and the desk and the computers, I have two rooms in the back but they would only be for storage because this house also is up for sale and in the back of my mind I might have to go through this whole thing again. [Move] But I told him I would take it, I had no other choice. “As a good soldier of Christ Jesus you must endure your share of suffering. Soldiers on duty don't work at outside jobs. They try only to please their commanding officer. No one wins an athletic contest without obeying the rules. And farmers who work hard are the first to eat what grows in their field. If you keep in mind what I have told you, the Lord will help you understand completely.”(2Tm 2:3-7) Then I get a phone call on the 11th this month and this guy at the new house tells me I can’t move in because there is water on the floor in the bathroom, I tried to find out what was wrong he didn’t want to talk about it, he says call the real estate girl. Anyway I am a bit upset and confused over this whole moving thing and I don’t even know this guy and now I am totally confused and nervous. Normally I am calm but with everything mounted up I felt like the walls were coming down. “Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule) forever and ever. Amen (so be it).” (1Pet. 5:8-11) Then we have another conflict on the same day which was a Monday still because I cannot get in to see my doctor because of her eye injury. Then I called in for my other prescription a week earlier which is required to get set up for the day you need them which was the 11th, for my nerve and jaw pills which my doctor emailed me that Sunday on the 10th and said we already called the prescriptions in. So now I called all the pharmacies and it wasn’t there. Now I can’t move, I have these visions implanted by evil that I am going to be in the street and now I can’t even take my pills to calm down and let my jaw move freely, now I can’t eat again, because my jaw and the muscles all around it are slowly disenegrating. I know God cares but I wonder does anyone else? People have to understand I am a bag of bones now; I cannot be in a position of not being able to eat. “We have faithfully preached the truth. God's power has been working in us. We have righteousness as our weapon, both to attack and to defend ourselves.” (2Cor.6:7) I called the doctors office and the doctor’s home left two messages and no return calls. I called my friend the Pastor for prayer and someone to talk to and the wife answered and she never gives him my messages, so I knew then I had to just pray to God. I haven’t heard from him at all and this is the same man that says call me 24 hours a day if you need me, and you know what, I needed him, that day I needed someone to talk to. “Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don't be afraid and don't worry. Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if you are asked about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. But you must do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak evil against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong! Christ also suffered when he died for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners that he might bring us safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.” (1Pet. 3:13)
That day on the 11th was even worse than last week, then after no sleep I called as soon as the doctors office opened on the 12th, we have a girl that is working there for a whole few weeks, and I wonder where that mistake was made. So she says where do you want me to call these in, and now being that the doctor is not here she is charging you 15 dollars for each time that you need prescriptions, and it has to come out of your pocket because she is not available. “Therefore, those who are ill-treated and suffer in accordance with God's will must do right and commit their souls [in charge as a deposit] to the One Who created [them] and will never fail [them].” (1Pet 4:19) So meanwhile I am wondering what I should do, I got a ride and went into town and picked up my prescription, I was planning to hitch- hike but the Lord provided, then I went home and ate or drank my lunch, plus I was under attack and my thoughts were should I try to find another place? Remember I had to wait till the real estate girl to call me and let me know what is going on, am I moving or what shall I do now? So it is Tuesday after leaving messages with her the day before, I truly needed some answers. Finally she calls and said everything is fixed and that you can move in, but let me call you right back and then you can call him and he will tell you what happened. She never calls back, I wait all day again sitting on the edge of my seat, feeling a bit stressful so I waited and waited then it was about 9 pm and I said to myself I have to call her. She gets on the phone and says well I’m sorry I forgot about you, but call the guy up and talk to him. “Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad--because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterward you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory when it is displayed to all the world. Be happy if you are insulted for being a Christian, for then the glorious Spirit of God will come upon you. If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people's affairs. But it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his wonderful name! For the time has come for judgment, and it must begin first among God's own children. And if even we Christians must be judged, what terrible fate awaits those who have never believed God's Good News? And "If the righteous are barely saved, what chance will the godless and sinners have?" So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.” (1Pet. 4:12-19)
Ok I can find out what is going on now. I call this guy up and he tells me a kid took a shower and just made a mess and left water all over the floor and he says well I thought that the walls had to be repaired again and a plumber had to come and I didn’t want you to move into a place without a bathroom. I could understand part of his reasoning but he could have just told me that the day before so I was tormented for two days because some kid does not know how to take a shower. I could have said a lot of things but I didn’t I just went along with the whole situation. “To keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions. (2Cor. 2:11) We have to understand that Jesus and the apostles were not out there shouting deliverance prayers and spiritual warfare prayers; we are just to talk out the word of God. You see there are many right now that are praying for me across the world but I have no human contact. We should all understand that the prayer that Jesus prayed in John 17 is probably the finest prayer for spiritual warfare but that one scripture “I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.” (John 17:15) I think about that great prayer as being one with the Father and Christ and being protected which does make me feel better when a mass of confusion hits. Last week I suffered for 6 days because of the devil and his schemes and this week I am suffering more because it seems the devil has infiltrated into these peoples minds. What we need to do is just pray for them, but I need someone to pray with and I called another pastor, that I haven’t called in a long time, and he did pray with me on the phone and then he said well I will pray on it, if I should call you tomorrow and pray on you again. So I just said OK and thanks for praying. “So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you. Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery]. [As you draw near to God] be deeply penitent and grieve, even weep [over your disloyalty]. Let your laughter be turned to grief and your mirth to dejection and heartfelt shame [for your sins]. Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant].” (James 4:7-10) Now it is Wednesday maybe this day will be a blessing I have all my medication now and I am so upset that they don’t even work, and that is true when you are that upset and in pain there is nothing that is going to change your attitude or your physical body when you are so alone and in so much pain. “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” (2Cor.4:7-11)
So I seemed like I was going to move in with this guy first things are first, I need a phone, so I called this new phone company and had a new phone arranged to be set up at this new address, I talked to a wonderful person and she gave me 50.00 off for the instillation and gave me the deal of having a cable phone for 27.95 to call anywhere in the US for free, which is half of what I am paying now, What a blessing! Now I had to go down to the cable company and show my ID because I had an identity theft a few months ago by putting information on a fake PalPal site and that took over a week of phone calls that was another week right from the pits, but I got over it. Now the first day they could come out there was Aug. 2nd. I tried other alternatives but I have to keep my email with road runner and I would starve before I had to give that up, and I have, the whole world knows my email and I can’t just change it, especially in all the rural parts of Africa and India, it might be months till people re- contact me. Besides if anyone knows about web building and looking for more Christian links you need the speed plus the sermons on Sunday, and the need of special information etc. I told the woman behind the desk the story about Aug. 2nd, and she started making notes for me to get the first cancellation because of The Church Ministries and the prayer ministry, and I thanked her for everything. She knew I would be missing 2 Sunday sermons and about 13 days of prayer responses which she understood how important it was for so many people. Now get this, I get home there is the answering machine going off and it is the big owner of my real estate company that I have been paying my rent to, and she is asking me if I want to stay longer possibly, and I pick up the phone well this might sound like good news, but this brings us into a whole mess of more torture. Well the guy that came in to my house and destroyed and turned my world upside down for two months of stress and confusion, on May 14th and I can picture him standing there telling me he is buying property and building a house in the rich section of town and he is not sure weather he is going to live in my house after I am told (by the real estate company) he is only going to buy the house for an investment, and (I was already told I could stay about two weeks prior to this day of judgment) after that day I haven’t been the same since; well this guys loan didn’t go through.!! “But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us; Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf.” (2Cor. 1:9-11) So I had to call the BIG owner woman on Thursday to find out if I can stay till the house is sold again. I called all day on Thursday and she says she has to work on the paper work and she will call me back, meanwhile I am shaking over this whole ordeal, she has no idea what I am going through. I ordered all these changes and she tells me she has to finish the paperwork before she can officially say I can stay, so I called my pastor friend again and I get his wife again and she is helping him out on his jobs, he is the type of pastor working a regular job and when you need him at the church he is always out doing his other job, but that day I needed to talk to a human being and he is working his full time job, and he is backed up and people are getting mad at him because he is so backed up, the same man that tells me I am not going to ever leave you alone up here, because he used to visit and help me and pray with me, and he just got to busy with his jobs, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 NASB
Friday morning at 6:15 I wake up to the house shaking for a good 5 minutes, I had an earthquake at 5.2 on the scale, at 8:15 in the morning the cable people call me and they are out front of the new house ready to put the cable in and I haven’t even moved yet. I had to call the BIG owner of the real estate company and I asked what should I tell these people? Now this is where the story changes, she tells me now she is waiting for a signature from the buyer not the agent, because the agent was new and never checked his credit, and she says I will call the agent and she calls me back and says he couldn’t get a hold of him to finish up this deal, she says I can’t tell you can stay until I get this guys signature to close the deal. I said what is he doing trying to get another loan? She said no, then I said what is the percentage rating of this deal so I can give the cable people an answer, she said I need his signature otherwise my hands are tied, well she mentions Monday or Tuesday and I said we are cutting this a bit close, she said I will have an answer today, I called at the end of the day on her cell phone and she did not pick it up. That meant I had to go the whole weekend and wait and wonder what is going to happen, this guy might never send this piece of paper. So I never got back to the cable people because I didn’t know what to say. “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Rom. 5:3-5) I called Monday morning she answered after about the fifth time, and then she said I will call you first thing when I get this signature. First of all I can understand the formalities of this, but it seems being it is Thursday and she hasn’t even called to let me in on any progress or any information of which way this is going to go, I have know idea what to expect from her, she knows me and my situation, and she isn’t a Christian, and I don’t know if she cares or not. I always have been early with the rent and have never been late. Everything has been clean, for all the showings and I have cooperated with everything. The next question is the real owner who started all of this and brought me over boxes and tape and food every time he does the grass did not come over Tuesday. And he was also told me he was going to help me move today which is Thursday and he didn’t show up. I am getting a bit nervous. Tuesday night I was upset and I received a wonderful letter from a girl I sent prayers to over a year go, and she was a cripple plus had arthritis and now she is healed of everything. She saved my prayers and she held on to them and she just wanted to thank me for what I am doing, It was a message from God, to not give up keep doing my prayer work and keep up with the church and the missions work with all the correspondence with all the other pastors and ministers throughout the world. So the same day Tuesday I called around trying to find out how much it will cost for movers to move me, and that is with boxes packed we are looking at 500 dollars easy, which of course I don’t have that kind of money, then I called to rent a truck that I can’t drive, and that I can afford, now I am looking at all this stuff and I don’t have the strength to do anything, I have three boxes I have packed and I can’t even move them. Then I had to put all things aside. I had the biggest doctors appointment with the social security doctor at 1:30 Wednesday and when I woke on Wednesday I was a nervous wreck but I went to this appointment and told him the truth and he gave me a general physical, then when he looked into my mouth and saw my tongue pealing off and red and black he stepped back and then he realized I was not telling a story. I get back from the doctor’s office and I get a call from my regular doctor, from the few week old nurse she tells me well you do have an appointment on the 21st, I told here I had my appointments set and scheduled for a year and I told her what she did on Monday and Tuesday with the prescription and then we became very close in that whole conversation she realized I was not a fly by night person and I was a pastor and loved people. Then she seemed to understand, and all this time she gave me an appointment on the 28th and that would mean I would run out of everything again, and I was sweating over that too, because they would charge me twice for 15 dollars again, and she had no idea my appointments were already set up, all because of more incompetence and more attacks. Then to put the icing on the cake I get an email on Tuesday and it says they have erased my bank account and had to send back my money to pay pal I called the bank and explained this to him about an electronic transfer and he told me it was impossible to happen when you just received from Pal Pal in April, and nothing has changed, he was listening to the story and he was shocked by the end of the conversation he will be going to church and eventually be saved, we have to realize that there is more of the devils work. It had to happen right now. When I needed the money, so I had to go in and re-add the bank numbers so I could get my money out of Pay Pal but I had to start the process all over again and I have to wait about another week to get the money to my bank. I have never seen so much warfare. Now they have to send 2 small payments into the bank again and I have to call them and give them the amounts, then the whole thing will be confirmed them I can transfer the money. Then that same day I made my mind up to cancel out everything knowing God would help me I didn’t feel right moving into a place that 1, I didn’t even know the guy, 2, it was to far away from town and it is a 30 minute drive. 3, [no kitchen.] 4, I didn’t know if my stuff would be safe here my whole office and the equipment would be in an all glass sun room all open, and I didn’t know the neighborhood. 4, He is in a wheel chair and he can’t help me move or arrange anything. 5 I might have to move again so why am I going to move to one place then another, it just would not make any sense. So I called the cable company and phone company and the phone was easy except for the amount of calls I had to make to get the same girl with the same number. Then when I called the cable company I cancelled the new house and the move, but this again was too much, they shut off the box here at my house, then I had to call them, and wait a half an hour to get someone, then the battery on my house phone went dead and that hardly ever happens, so I had to go down stairs to get and old fax machine to make the call again to have my stuff working, they tell me on the phone well we have to shut off your old house when they turn on the new, I said young lady I didn’t move so there was nothing to turn on. Anyway everything went back to normal after the tears and shaking and I just said God what is going on. I know we should never ask God why, because he has a plan and to follow it. “For the time has come for judgment, and it must begin first among God's own children. And if even we Christians must be judged, what terrible fate awaits those who have never believed God's Good News? And "If the righteous are barely saved, what chance will the godless and sinners have?" So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you. (1Pet. 4:12-19) Wensday all night I was twisting and turning and every night I wake up with my tee **** and sweat shirt are always soaking wet. It is so cold in the morning when you are wet so I just change the tee shirt and sweat shirt and I sit-down and pray and The Church Ministries will make it through another day, it is God’s church and I feel He is pleased with it, it is also Christ’s Church He wants me to feel secure about this whole thing. He has given me enough clues, I feel I should just sit it out here, there is two churches that know I need help and I haven’t had a phone call or anyone stop by if I needed anything or to help me pack, I am in tears, this is just so intense. “For the time has come for judgment, and it must begin first among God's own children. And if even we Christians must be judged, what terrible fate awaits those who have never believed God's Good News? And "If the righteous are barely saved, what chance will the godless and sinners have?" So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you. (1Pet. 4:12-19) I had a 9:30 appointment and then again I was going to hitch –hike but I got a ride, now my brothers and sisters today was the cherry on the cake, I am sitting in the waiting room and my cell phone goes off and there are a few that know the number and the Guy with the new house that is up for sale, he tells me his good friend died on Tuesday night and they don’t know the cause of death. So in comes the team taping off the house fingerprint men and the whole works, I will find out probably tomorrow or in the papers, how he died and now I don’t want to move in there, I am supposed to move, but no one is giving me the OK, and I don’t want to be a sinner I want to do what is right. He is telling me the whole story and this was the straw that broke the camels back. I still don’t know how he died and I am not moving into a house if the man had overdosed on something, that is know place for a pastor to live, it seems if I move there I am moving away from God, I need to be in downtown Hilo, and that is right in the middle of the most demonic area of town. That was told to me by another pastor and we prayed together everyday at the local gym, and I really felt his prayers, then he had a stroke and I went into the hospital and we talked and read the word and I never saw him again. He was explaining to me about the history of the area and all the churches that tried to make it and they all failed except only a few. God really wants me there but it seems why am I moving away from God, that would be an escape and I can’t do that to Him and all the people. I mean there are a lot of people that need Christ and to understand His love, I have to be out there planting seeds, I can’t be stuck in the middle of no- where, it is a good 4 miles just to get to a store. Next I sat with my doctor an she wanted to change my prescription again because they are not working, then she stands over me with some gadget and she looked at me and shook her head and I said what is wrong she says you are carrying something, I said what, she say the spirit of doubt, well that explains everything, so we went through a deliverance and prayer, then she did it again and found something about my Dad and she had to go through this again this time she was speaking in tongues and screaming loud, and I felt a lift off my back, I felt new, this was an intense doctors visit! So I sat there and we both prayed that the Holy Spirit would enter and guard the space that is empty. Next I get to the pharmacy and handed them the new prescription and the one for my tongue anti- fungus. Then the owner said I had to wait on this one because the insurance company would not let it go through, and it cost a lot of money, so he called the doctors office and then I got a piece of paper to bring back to my friend the owner of the pharmacy and then he got everything confused, he thought I was on medicade and then he apologized, then I had to go back to the office and have them fax the information and he told me it could take a day all the way up to a week, now here I am again like a yoyo, I just don’t get any of this. Here is something I need and I might have to wait a week and then he gets the whole thing mixed up, and that new girl I hope faxed the paperwork to the right place. Here is more confusion and more and more stress. I just have to have more patience and more faith. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (1Pet. 1:6-7) True Christian spiritual warfare is living a life of dedication, obedience and fellowship with God. We have to depend on God to defend us as we are getting attacked, God can save us from this horror working against us and also people that are influenced by the devil. We have to come close to our Jesus and being obedient to him with prayer and fellowship and a relationship so He can stop Satan’s officially permitted and prohibited areas against us and other people. We must use scripture and the armor of God and the faith scriptures that keep us sane and safe through all of this confrontation. We need God and our Lord Jesus to intercede for us as we depend on the word and the promises of God. We are dealing with in some cases life and death situations. Most people that are as weak as I am and have been slammed with every gun in the arsenal of Satan, plus his other spirits are using other people to get at you, to destroy your faith and your testimony, so you even feel worse, empty and alone, don’t forget he took a third of the angels with him, so the dark sections of the principalities are all the fallen angels which we can now call demons. That is who and or what we are fighting, when they can get to other people or in their thoughts to cause havoc in other peoples lives, it gets a bit ridiculous when I am reaching out for prayer from a friend and the devil moves right in and changes everything all around and shifts people’s feelings or induces forgetfulness, and confusion and this is getting a bit out of hand. We have to use the word and scripture to defend ourselves then and we can not have ourselves be used as target practice either, all we are to do is stand firm, just stand and the Lord will do the fighting for us. We cannot try to say well I bind and loose you, or I rebuke you, we cannot stand in the way of all this power this is when people get into more trouble, we have to use the power of God and His weapons. We have to understand that these demonic dark entities are working around the clock to destroy our lives. We can not put up any attack ourselves we can only use the word of God and stand firm, other wise we are going to see an increase of this torment in anyone’s life. So I do not know what to expect tomorrow, I am supposed to be out today,but I was told I could possibly stay longer. I just want to pay the rent and stay till the house is sold, and then I will have time to find a place near where I need to be, God will not let me down. I need your prayers and your hearts and your understanding, you are my family. "When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you. The world would love you if you belonged to it, but you don't. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? `A servant is not greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you! The people of the world will hate you because you belong to me, for they don't know God who sent me. (John 15:18-21) God bless, www.thechurch-ministries.org
July 22, SAME DAY This letter gave me more faith, and was truly sent from God!
Paul are you doing ok? I have read your prayer/emails to me from a year ago, over and over and over and I have them practically framed and memorized. They have been so inspiring to me......and so full of scriptures..... and hope....that I need daily...........therefore that's why I have them close. How is your health and spirit? I pray all the time for you......and what you are doing and going through........I think about you and your work constantly.................the Lord has and is using you deeply....so keep the faith.............don't let satin come against you and your wonderful work. You know when we first started emailing I was a cripple.......and had been for a long time, I had braces on my legs and was in a bad way trying to do the Lords work and suffering family problems, on top of all of that soooooooo....many things that satin was throwing at me but I kept the faith and you know what..today I am walking free of the braces.............fixing to throw those out with the ugly shoes........and just get on with my life.....satin is a liar and always has been...I suffered with arthritis since my twentys and over the past year..Im free of that too........the pain and the swelling........Im free!!!!.20 years has come off of me.I could tell you about so many miracles that have happened to my ..........body......but I wont.....people that see me cant believe it.........I can't either.....really...it's too good to be true.....while I spent years praying for everybody elses problems...I got healed in the process and I never ask for it I was just concerned for those around me........for years......I still have problems with my family that deserted me but I still pray for them always have.......but the great thing in my life is my own healing...........that seem to come about over night.......but that's not what Im writing to you about...its your health......your needs and your concern..........you write such beautiful prayerful emails....which have really touched me, mentally, spiritually and now physically!!!.........
Isnt God wonderful?..I just hope and pray that you are still at his work and doing the job that he sent you to do...you may not know it..but you planted seeds...........and some of them have grown to be trees.................dont stop your wonderful work and NEVER let satin take hold of your thoughts.....you may think you are insignificent.......but I can tell you that you are not!!! Your a mighty wind that blows across this earth..................and you need to keep up his good work................the prayers you've said and the kind emails you've sent has had the power of God in them................even if I never hear from you again I have these emails full of scriptures of hope and promise..........of the word of God to see me through and hopefully I have many years yet to go.............I just want you to know that I am praying and thinking about you ALL the time.....and when you find the time............send me spiritual words again..........I miss them.........your friend in Christ Kelly
July 28th, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. (Isa. 43:2) Were do I begin; I just have to thank you for all your prayers. They have worked and I have been a bit shaken up from yesterday, and today is the first time I sat down and ate lunch in a month, plus the fact I used a spoon and that is a first too in about two months, it took a while for everything to sink in and all the facts are still up in the air, but I should have trusted in God more. "For he who finds me finds life And obtains favor from the LORD. (Prov. 8:35) For they are life to those who find them And health to all their body. (Prov. 4:22) He who pursues righteousness and loyalty Finds life, righteousness and honor. (Prov. 21:21) "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. (Matt.5:6) It has been a hard road and I know the evil one wanted the church and the prayer ministry to be destroyed, and to tell you all, it was very close, but the works of God pulled everything out at the last minute I should have had stronger faith, but when people look at me they automatically think that I am sick, and you can tell. But the thing is the light of God does shine through me, and my prayers for others do help and I have been blinded and beaten to the ground, yesterday I was walking in circles, and I could not pray but just look at the sky, and say forgive me Father, It has been a long haul these last two months, and I hope by my writings that you will gain some faith that the Lord is there and he is not going anywhere, He is in my heart, you see we need to educate our hearts not our heads, that may sound a bit confusing but let me clarify, when we go through things, usually the memories are kept in our brains and what we learn the same way, but we are Christians and Christ is in us, and we have to be changed from the inside out and be renewed.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Rom.12:2) It does mention mind but then again we are spirit we have to renew our spiritual mind and our spiritual mind is located in our hearts, because Jesus dwells within our hearts, we have to make the changes and God has to put us through certain fires and baking’s like the clay pot. So we do get stronger, we don’t want to fill up a clay pot and place it in front of a hungry person and have it just break, so in any event we have to remain strong through all things. “Then he said to me, "This is what the LORD says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD Almighty.” (Zech 4:6) We have to become more spiritual because when we get to heaven we will have new bodies but we will be mostly spirit, our spirit leaves our bodies when we die, that is why there are so many occurrences of people seeing themselves laying there when they die. My mistakes were the situation at hand was effecting so many others because I could not write my usual prayer letters and that was tearing me up inside, because I was so upset, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.” (1Cor. 15:58) Most of you all know the story how a man that was going to buy this house and destroy my whole life and the church and the prayer ministry back on May 15th and how his inspector went through this house making a mess and showing no consideration for the person living here, and that renters were some kind of different creature, and Mr. buyer talked about everything he was going to buy and how now I had to move because he didn’t know what his girlfriend wanted to do. I have been emotionally sick and spiritually shattered since. “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”(Rom.8:37) On the 13th of this month I was toyed with by the real estate owner, telling me there is a chance I could stay because Mr. Buyer could not get his loan, and I was toyed with like a creature for all these days I didn’t know if I had to move or change the setup for the church, the phone and everything, I had to plan ahead so I would not loose the time online for the prayer ministry and the church itself because everything is run out of this office and I did not even have the strength to move anything or pack anything, all I could do was pray and that was even hard. I had no one to talk to, and I had two best friends that are pastors but it was like the story of Job, they just cast me off in the wind, which broke my heart everyday, I would leave a message and nothing would be returned. They thought I was in sin or something, they thought I was being disciplined by God for being wrong. So this real estate owner had to toy with a sick man who is just a simple pastor and loves people and God and is a close friend to Jesus Christ. On Thursday last week, she calls and tells me well you can probably stay but I still have to talk to the original owners, so the stress is still not over, this is the day I had to move, and she says well the new owners that are going to buy the place will probably raise your rent, and will probably let you stay. But I still have to get clearance from the original owners so don’t get all excited yet. We will let you stay if it is all right with them. That whole conversation was totally confusing, on top of it I had to go to the doctors that day, and I am waiting for the owners to help me move and they didn’t show up, and that bothered me. To tell you the truth I was a mess, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time, I just could not get a simple answer from the Real estate woman. “My child, don't lose sight of good planning and insight. Hang on to them, for they fill you with life and bring you honor and respect. They keep you safe on your way and keep your feet from stumbling.” (Prov.3:21-23) Then I get a phone call on Saturday afternoon and the Real estate owner says can I bring some people over to look at the house, I said that would be fine but I have all kinds of bibles open and all kinds of text books open all over the place because I am in the middle of writing the Sunday sermon, then she say’s well I am right outside, I am on my cell phone, she invites herself over without the 48 hour legal notice and drives up to my house and says well I have 2 people from Maui that want to look at the house, I said well ok, I let them in they went all over the place and of course I could not write my work and I had a Jesus film on and I was in the right atmosphere and I just sat in amazement, how she could do this, I didn’t understand, my whole train of thought was thrown off kilter and I had to wait till they left. So as she is leaving she says she has to talk to the owners and to let me know Monday if I can stay. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” (Prov. 3:5-6) Tuesday morning My owner and the son, and he has another son which wanted to sell, which I never met, they are out there doing the lawn like every Tuesday morning and they usually knock and hand me a gift but this time they just went to work. I had to go outside and find out what is really going on. I could barely stand up because I was so full of stress, I had to crouch down to talk, Then he was the same man as normal he brought me a bag of beautiful bananas, and told me the door was closed so they didn’t want to bother me. Anyway he told me and his son went down to the real estate office last week and signed the papers that he did not want to sell. Here it is Tuesday morning I said did he go yesterday he said no some time last week, that’s why we didn’t show up to help you move Thursday because we knew you weren’t going anywhere, and we sat down in the living room and I told him what the real estate woman did to me all that week. What a story I didn’t know if I was supposed to be happy or sad, of course I didn’t have to move, and he has to raise the rent in October a hundred dollars. So Praise the Lord!! God be the Glory!! Well my brothers and sisters through all of this I still have not received a call from the real estate woman, and I don’t know how to handle this whole situation, I am leaving this all up to God. I am blessed and I give God all the glory of this whole episode. The power of prayer I must thank you all, everyone who prayed I can never thank you enough, God Bless you all. The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous. (Prov. 15:29) You are my friends and family I can not ever thank you all enough. I am very happy because I now am of good courage and have perfect confidence in you in all things. (2Cor.7:16) Thank you, and May the Lord be with you all close and forever, God Bless, Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org
August 17th, Please pray for a diagnosis of this affliction
I am still waiting for a diagnosis, and to be sent to the right doctor, everything is the same, two doctors want me to go to the mainland now to be diagnosed, but no one is doing anything about the whole situation. I have been on the phone for the last two days with the insurance company, and they are not doing anything, to help. Please pray they find the right doctor and the right place to send me. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isa. 40:30-31) All through Isaiah he gets to the point of explaining God’s presence to help and His power to create and be with us always. You may not think with all of God’s power and how mighty He is but he is like a gentle as a flower blossoming in the spring and He does care for each of us personally, that is why He knows how many hairs we have on each of our heads, His love for us is immeasurable and so compassionate, nothing can be compared to the love of God. We try to explain God but each of us can not, we only know Him through what we experience here on this planet, we have so much time in eternity to share our hearts together and I know He will explain our whole lives to us and we will sit and break bread and just be in the full light of God’s love. We know God now from all the examples that Jesus His son has done for so many people as He worked His ministry for over three years, there is so much we will learn and share between the both of them, just to fellowship with pure love would be so wonderful it is an unexplainable beauty. As we read the scripture we know that all people get tired sooner or later, but God’s power love and strength never change. You would think He is so busy with things all over the world, but when you get down to pray He is never to tired or busy listen to us and to help us, that is why our prayers are more than what we believe or could imagine. We can have all the walls falling down all around us and you could be so exhausted to do another thing and all we have to do is call on the Lord and He will give us the strength that we need to go onward. I just hope people understand that a prayer is more than just a prayer, it is a communication of open joy and love and a door that opens to the desires of your heart. We have in God hope and patients, because He has so many promises to offer and at times He wants to give them to us in His time and in His order, so we should never be impatient, God has everything under control and we just have to trust in His word. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as he is pure.” (1John 3:1-3) Isn’t it amazing that we are children of God, I get so joyful, when I am really down and out and in tears, I just say that I am a child of God and He will take care of me, nothing like my earthy dad, I get more and more confidence to be more like Jesus when we know we are God’s family and we are a part of the true light of purity, what else could we ever want? We have to keep striving to stay away from sin, to love others more than just saying it, we have to show it, how hard is it to put your arm around someone and say I will be here for you anytime and I care. And in turn God gives us a confidence that can not be measured. Each day as we grow in the Christian life we become more like Christ at least that is what I am shooting for. And one day we will see Jesus face to face, and just knowing that someday we should strive to be as pure as we can. The word purify means, to keep morally in a straight line, and to be free from any form of corruption of sin. God does purify each of us but we ourselves must exercise each day to stay honorably fit for duty.
“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” (Eph. 3:12) Jesus has done so much for us besides healings and salvation and the Holy Spirit, He gave us the freedom to be able to come close to God with liberty and confidence, most of us would be a bit anxious to be in the presence of such a authoritative leader our God, but Christ split the veil, He made the opening so by faith we can enter openly into God’s presence through prayer. Being we have a relationship and believe in Jesus we now have like a invisible key to open the door to our loving arms of God, you see with us having a joining together with Jesus we obtained the openness to the mighty powerful God Himself, we should all have a certain degree of fear of the Lord God, but we should not be afraid of Him, we should want to talk to Him about anything and everything in our lives, what believers just don’t realize is that God is waiting for us to talk to Him, He is wanting to here from each one of us, what a beautiful thing Christ has done for us Jesus has done immeasurable things for us all when He went to that cross and this to have open fellowship with the Father is a beauty that can not be explained. "Don't be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father's home, and I am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know where I am going and how to get there." (John 14:1-4) Jesus had laid out the floor plans for our lives and how close we will be with Him and all we have to do is believe, He has given us the way to eternal life, although it is our faith or by faith that we know that we have a place prepared for each and everyone of us, theologians say the mansion will be about the size a little smaller than the moon. So look at all we as believers have to look forward to, so whatever we are going through or what ever our lives are now that is all going to change to a life of beauty with Jesus and the Father. These scriptures really tell it like it is with promises and truth, so even though we don’t see heaven we know it is there, the preparations are being made for each one of us, what a natural essence of hope and trust, look at what Jesus has done for all of us and He is still working for us right at this very moment, I tell you we have a God that is just, I can not even find the words to describe Him. Even though I am fighting this affliction for the past 21 months and I am battling intense spiritual physical and emotional warfare I am still joyful to know these promises of God, Thank you for all your prayers, God Bless, Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org
These are the writings I have been storing and I don't want to loose them, they are important to the church and my health and most of the events which have taken place in between the time lines.
