Prayer_Power

We know that Jesus is our strength and our life and breath, and that is all that we really need. We are all human and still living in the flesh, are there are times where you need people, people close to you, may it be family, friends or your children, people that you admire, care about; love, or just general friends and acquaintances that you are close to. To give you that extra hope confidence, love, compassion, and understanding, or maybe just someone that will listen, to give you that extra drive to go on. May it be just with a few words, or a gentle smile, or maybe a word of just saying the future will be eternal with Christ, and with joy, and the life we live now does serve a purpose, but not a purpose for ourselves. Our purpose is for Christ and His people and the church. Matt 10:39 the love you have all given me, and the love of Christ guiding me, has made a great change in my life and eventually, I in return can make a change for others. The same would exist for anyone that is suffering unjustly, partially, or unreasonably. Because if my spirit is edified and uplifted than it is far easier for me to find the words to uplift and pray and to say the right things or words to others. If we cling too much to this world, then the future for the world to come will not be as we picture it.

We are all the part of the body of Christ and we need to strengthen the chain, not to weaken the links, we have to consider each other first, Phil. 2:3-4 this way the entire body of Christ will be in full readiness and fully armored, to defeat the evil that dwells within our flesh, also with others within the world. Christ pictured the church as a body with all different parts, if the foot is not edified then the body can not walk, if the hand is not edified, or cared for, the hand cannot hold the shield of faith to stop the arrows of the evil one. If the eye is not edified the body will be blinded, and all will fall into a ditch. So we must all edify each other, to give us strength to go on to fight of the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life which weakens us. 1John 2:16.

Prayer is our most powerful weapon next to the word of God, to fight against the evil darkness’ and powers of this world. Prayer is the light of God, which carries and guides us through the darkness of this generation. We are fighting a fallen world and broken generation. If we don’t try to repair it now our children will suffer, which is plain and simple to understand. I often wonder what it would be like without Christ and the Spirit being a non-Christian, with no scripture or word to guide us through this life and darkness, I guess if you are without Christ you would (not) notice that the walls per say are defiantly falling in on us, and on top of us, and it seems that only a chosen few realize what is taking place.

We as Christians are the major foothold of the survival of civilization. With out us, even though many of us are hidden and unseen the civilization as we know it now, would be a living hell. Even to some Christians the walls that are falling in on us are presently unseen. And to others(non- believers) they don’t care about eternal life, or don’t understand it, or really don’t think that it exists, they only care about today and themselves, and some only believe that this is the only life that they have. So it is very understandable that they act in the way they do. All for self, all for today, wanting everything right now, to not be patient, or to even understand about waiting upon the Lord.

And our job is simple one to explain the fact if they except Christ, there would not be such an importance, and great eagerness in there daily life of satisfying themselves. Some go around and don’t even believe that they will stand in front of the judgment seat of Christ, and be evaluated. This is why they act the way they do, do the things the way they want to, and use others as stepping stones to get to the top, but the thing is, the top of what? Matt. 16:26 A few years of pleasure, and then life of eternal destruction. It doesn’t make much sense to me, how could it make sense to them? That is why we as Christians must be out there to witness, show our kindness, being more or less like Christ, and to perform the great commission; Mark 16:15-18. So are we doing this? Are we doing what Jesus asked us to do? Then the great task still avails, how do we get them to listen? They have this temporary power, and potency, and certain particular forces, and edges with this wealth, they don’t think or need that they should listen, they will say I am a good person and I do help people with a few things, the fact remains they should be helping people with a lot of things, but that is not up to me to judge. All things are given by God to each and every individual, James 1:17 But we again as Christians have to find a way to reveal the true light and purpose, of the true objective to life, and the presence of God.

Christ is our strength and we need the unity of friendship and fellowship to go on. Just last week when I spoke about evil using others to manipulate towards the destruction of others, so today our base is to edify others, and ourselves within our own realm, to preach and teach the love of Jesus, and who we can save in and from this fallen world. As I see and read and write back to many prayer requests, the evil one is using money as a major stronghold, people don’t want their honor to be destroyed, it seems money is one of a major concern on our prayer networks today; Of course the top requests are health problems. People are loosing jobs, careers, houses, cars, you name it, and it is all about finances. Most are not relying on Christ, or the truth of Christ, or the word of Christ. And the reasoning behind a lot of marriage breakups is finance situations.

Christ is all and in all, Christ is our strength and our provider Phil. 4:19 and our might which gives us the ability to stand firm. Still people need to survive; our system of proposed or worldly leadership forgets the suffering of our own people. It seems the rich are all afraid to share, or they don’t want to share, or they never experienced what it was like to be poor, or they have no true knowledge of what the poor have to go through to survive. Maybe this will be our next project to educate the rich, on what and how it is to be poor, and hear the cries of a baby totally innocent and hungry, and how the mother feels, and the thoughts that go through a mother’s mind, to feed her children. We must educate also that the rich would receive blessings that would be poured upon them not only in this life, but in the life to come, if they could only help the suffering brothers and sisters of this world now.

On Nov. 13, 2003 14months ago I came down some sort of an unexplained affliction my face, it blew up like a basketball, I went in for c-scans of my sinus and blood tests the swelling went down but I have continued to have a fever and swollen glands, the fever started to die down around July 2004, but I have had swollen glands since. I haven’t been able to eat or chew, and cannot put my dentures back in, and have unexplained pain in my mouth, I had to try and diagnose myself and by the grace of God everything pointed to Trigeminal Neuralgia, which I found out by research and a nurse from a prayer request. I have gone through about 15 doctors that didn’t have a clue what was going on and not only did they make all kinds of mistakes, and misdiagnosis with some permanent destruction with my body, mind, and spirit, like a biopsy, and 6 weeks with a pick-line in me giving my self the antibiotics and syringes, then they took there mistakes and frustrations out on me to protect there own liability. I was also turned down for a specialist back in February 03’, now it is Nov. 05 because my case didn’t seem too important and they didn’t want to pay for the transportation. Then it took a 10 months to get an MRI approved and that gets done on September 30th, 2004, then I have to wait a month to see my regular doctor thank God, in which I had to fight to get for 6 months, and listen to a man that would yell and scream at me and treat me worse than dirt, pushing me and trying to get rid of me, because he too was libel or felt guilty or just prejudice or maybe all three. I still get the chills when I drive by his office. So I get a referral to the neurologist, which I have seen before and says he couldn’t do anything and didn’t have any answers then back in March 04, so now I have 260 pictures from an MRI to see this same man with, so he can refer me to a neurosurgeon who has a long waiting list, the neurologist cancelled 2 appointments, and I had to wait till Dec 3rd from Sept 30th to finally find out what is wrong in my brain and to refer me to the neurosurgeon, for the possibility the diagnosis of Trigeminal Neuralgia, don’t forget I have indigent insurance and these doctors don’t really care about us, there attitudes seem to be different especially because the neurologist wanted to speak at a seminar, and I have been critical since a year ago. Now we go to the medication problems we have all kinds of doctors giving this and that, changing this too that, and here my mind, body, and spirit suffers and I feel like a yoyo. Now we had a healthy body built like Rocky worked out for 23 years, now I am a bag of bones that can’t chew and eat, in the course of events I have now two hernias called a bilateral hernia, which could have came about normally from not working out and everything falls, and the surgeon can not do the operations because I am to thin and it will not work or heal, he wants me to wait to fix my mouth and till I put on weight. So this is a race against time, because now if I have an emergency with the hernias they will have to cut me open twice because the hernia operations will not heal. Plus now I have been running a fever for the same amount of time, and finally the surgeon that is good saw me and explained to me about the hernias so he realizes that I have been mistreated by all these doctors and know one has really taken care of me, so now I have to go in and get a C-scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvic region, because he doesn’t want any surprises when he cuts me open.

We will not even mention how easy it is to get a heart attack or a stroke going on this long, being this weak, and malnutrition and not eating properly and a fever, and I won’t even go into how much stress I have gone through for a man 50 years old that is a ex/ priest, chaplain and a minister. On January 4th 2005 I finally got in front of the neurosurgeon to diagnose me and said “I do not have TN because I have lower and upper gum pain”. It felt like he didn’t have that much time for me, non- compassionate, and “go to the mainland to some university in San Francisco somewhere so you can be diagnosed there”. It took so long to get to this man, and he only sees these indigent insurance people on certain Tuesdays. “Well you can go now, I won’t need to look at these films any more, by the way you have two things wrong in your brain but you don’t have to worry about them unless they start to bleed. Good-by”. They ended out to be a brain tumor and a unexplained hole in my brain, and at any time they could bleed, he suggested 10 years ago they would have me go in for brain surgery, but that did not seem to be on top of his list. On Jan. 5th I went in and had the bilateral surgery, to tell you the truth, these people had no idea what kind of medication I was on and how much, to me to be quite honest, I feel I have suffered post traumatic stress disorder because I have not felt the same since the operation. I have gone through the worst pain in my life, and never had so much fear in my life, and no matter how much I pray for all these people and get close to God, and write sermons, I still cry everyday, and on top of it I am all alone, with no one to talk to, of coarse I have Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and of course my Father in Heaven. I was running a wonderful prayer ministry through The Church Ministries, and that started to fall apart during the month of September, I have tried and tried to get it going again, but the pain seems to be getting more intense, and now even after the surgery on the 5th I cannot sit in front of my computer to long without severe pain. I don’t understand.

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. Job 23:10, I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. Job 23:12, Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; Job 13:15

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. Isa. (65:24) We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. (2Cor. 4:8-10) "Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. (Matt.7:7-8) "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. (Matt 24:4-13) As we read the scriptures they are pretty much self illuminating, but why because of the increase of wickedness which is happening all over the world, the love of most will grow cold? But who can change things? The children of God with Jesus who is love and is already living in our hearts, but we also need God’s unconditional love, the Agape love of God. Remember people again will hate us because of our faith and the love we have for the brothers and sisters and our want to bring joy into peoples hearts with our transference of our minds and thoughts and to share God’s love to every household or any country or any village. We still are carrying around extra baggage and sin, and we have to make ourselves vessels to be used, clean and sanctified so God’s Agape love which is so powerful and intense that we cannot even explain it. “We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters”. (1John 3:16) So we have many people that are just out there enjoying there lives, but the true Christians the ones who God called, the ones He wants to suffer to understand the sufferings of His Son, like I had said before all over the world we have the crucified ones, or the suffering ones, they are not any better or different then any other Christians but many do hold the different keys to the Kingdom. They are on that narrow road and have been there for years, and they are still suffering day after day, but we have to examine the truth and we all need to thrust out of ourselves any source of sin, bitterness, self- righteousness, unforgiveness, different forms of anger, one of the biggest is pride, then ambition, and resentment, we need to be cleansed to let God’s love flow through us, so our love can flow through to others. We all have to be conditioned and we all have to be trained and disciplined, so we are totally clean. We have to deny ourselves getting rid of our own thoughts and desires and our self emotions, these all can stand in the way to Let the Love of God to pour into us. We have to confess our sins daily and read our bible just like the Berarans in Acts 17:11 and we have to watch any pollution that may enter into our heart, soul, and or our minds from the world, this must be a daily checklist, otherwise we will be unhappy, full of tears and just not experience joy and peace. We have to be pure, not just half way but completely. “The truth is, a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies it will be alone a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. All those who want to be my disciples must come and follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And if they follow me, the Father will honor them. (John 12:24-26) These words of Christ are self explanatory which is why we have to have “self” gone from our insides and just follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and be a doer of the will of God. Our lives are nothing in this world, without God’s love, we are already dead in Christ, "For through the Law I died to the Law, so that I might live to God. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Gal. 2:19-20) Our spirit must be conditioned to be put on standby for any bad emotions or ungodly thoughts as they enter in each day. We are surrounded by sin; we cannot even go through a check out in a drugstore or supermarket from the magazine covers and the pictures that appear right on the waiting isle. Do not love the world nor the things in the world If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. (1John 2:15-17)

We the children of God have to be on our toes, we know that God is Love, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love”.(1John 4:7-8) So God gives us unconditional love and human love is conditional, human love is always built around expectations but God’s love is pure and everlasting and He has so much to give and always wants to give it, but we have to be open for it and our bodies or vessels have to be clean so God can pure His perfect love into us. That is why human love is different it could be built around self-centeredness, or fear, and many types of bondage in ways of two sides, like who loves you more, or I will love you if you do this, or I will not love you anymore if you do that, this is why God’s love is so beautiful and goes directly to the heart. That is true Agape love. You see God will show us a time and need to repent, and when we must move all our feelings of self out of the way, and at times it takes patience and understanding for any brother or sister to really be open to God and His direction-- His will, and His Love. God does not want us to change our free will, so the Lord moves when we become open with Him. Our faith, our choices, our desires, all have to be lined up with God thoughts and our relationship, God can give us everything we need, we don’t need anything from anyone else, God can and will give us all things but we have to let Him. Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. That's why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God. (Rom. 8:5-8) But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them are not Christians at all.) Since Christ lives within you, even though your body will die because of sin, your spirit is alive because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you. (Rom. 8:9-11) It is the old saying let go and let God, we give everything to Him and He will direct our paths, we can’t be impatient, we have to trust Him and the scriptures, God loves us so much if we only let Him. My Prayers are with you, God Bless, Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org

Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? Psalm 10:1

As you all know I am having a roller coaster ride and still I am doing all right, I am still fighting a war and I am still every morning fighting off all kinds of evil, I fully understand that I should have complete authority over these defeated foes of Satan. And I know I do, Satan was stripped and all his cohorts of there power and principalities, Jesus triumphed over them openly. [“When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities; He made a public display of them, having triumphed over them through Him.”] (Col. 2:15) We know all the angels and powers are subject to Christ [“Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.”] (1Pet. 3:22) We all have been delivered from Satan’s power, [“Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:”] (Col. 1:12-14) We also know that Jesus holds the keys not the devil to death and hell. [“I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.”] (Rev. 1:18) You see by the death of Jesus Christ and His resurrection He has judged Satan already. [“Now is the judgment of this world: now shall the prince of this world be cast out.”] (John 12:31) One more thing I would like to add the stronger and greater lives in all of us, our Jesus, and we already have overcome the antichrist and His spirits that are lurking in the world. [“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”] (1John 4:1-4) So my friend we have already over come the devil the word says: [“I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one. (1John 2:13-14) Now you would think with all of this scripture and faith you would think there isn’t any battle, or how could they be? But I have suffered some spiritual abuse and that abuse cannot be taken away easy, I am glad I am doing what I am doing and making it through the hard spots every morning, some people that have suffered spiritual abuse know what I am talking about, once the damage has been done it is not irreversible, but it is able to be ok again, It is possible to rest again and to be calm again, you see once you have suffered for so long and you have had no one to help you through the situation, like for instance the 6 week antibiotic therapy in April of 04’ having a 2 foot tube threaded through a vein in and inside up my arm to only a short distance from my heart, if I made a wrong move or fell down the wrong way or if it started to get infected, or my body rejected the plastic or I didn’t do the proper procedure with all the injections 3 times a day in all the right orders and every Friday I would have a nurse come to my house to clean up that whole area and check the tube and go through the normal procedure, if I didn’t have a good friend that was a pastor sit with me every weekday morning because he wanted to. That was an extreme help to me and my whole spirit. I thank God He sent him. Then I find out the whole thing was done on a guess, all of that for nothing, you can imagine what that did to my spirit, my mind and body, especially when they gave me the wrong antibiotic for the first two weeks, here I am pumping in bags of antibiotics that were for used for something completely different, you could imagine my heart and finally getting the right stuff signed by the right doctor not the one who had no idea what was going on and the waiting for this whole procedure and the way they explained it all to me, there was no mention of this tube, over 3 weeks laying there critical, and still am after 2 years it would do something to some ones mind, body and spirit. All the phone calls and my doctor had to go on vacation while I sat and waited with this infection and fever. Then when I finally went in they tell me what needs to be done I was so upsetting and went into the bathroom and threw up, no one tells me anything. It was a life or death situation so they had a woman calmly tell me either I do this or die. I did not want a tube put in my arm and put it that close to my heart on the inside. That right there was something I never expected and that day alone was another shock to my system. Then on the 20th of September this year here I am going to get diagnosed finally by a man I was told that was well aware of what I had, and I was referred by a woman that was the state coordinator for RSD/CRPS and he sits back in his chair and was nothing but a another doctor that Satan entered and treated me worse than a dog, the visit was the worst I have ever been to, and the physical part was more than I could handle, I was shaking so bad I could have dropped on the floor right there. I asked him if I could sit down and he said no. The whole thing was horrible, and he was a man full of lies. I told him about my fever and he said that was normal. A constant 99.6-99.8 or higher is normal, as my caseworker said for what? I will never get over that experience, and he had know idea what he has done to me. And he then wanted to see me in six weeks, what was I going to do for six weeks, wait again, he didn’t look at one film or C-scan or MRI he looked at three pieces of paper that it, then I find out from him that he lied and the doctor that I traveled again all that way for a few minute appointment that he lied too. This is reality, It would seem that only a few care, and I know God cares, if I didn’t have Christ I would be in a bad situation along time ago. Spiritual abuse can be a big hurt but the Lord will see it through and heal all the scares. All these events in our lives have a reason and all the planning is done by God. The point is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might find the treasure of this darkness. [“When I expected good, then evil came; When I waited for light, then darkness came. (Job 30:26) I have used this scripture many times because it seems that I am finally coming out of the darkness, you see when we are taken in to these dark places we see the light through a different window and we see things that either were never there or never new existed. So in other words our eyes have been illuminated and our eyes and sensitivities have become to a new plateau. I have to admit if I did not experience these dark times my soul or my spirit would ever change or renew into something stronger, and we gain a new character, the thing is we think wisdom is coming along with these times and it is, because knowledge is gained through a certain understanding and the thing about all these dark times God is setting us up to reach a new level and to gain a new wisdom, we can’t gain this from any book, only experience in the darkness or the valleys what ever you want to express it, some even say they are trapped in a cave which I have said many times. We have to gain experience in the dark, this way when the light comes we will see things even clearer, we know God is with us, He is not going to leave us now, it is like He is training us, and the only way we can be trained is through suffering, and God is with us all the way, but there are many times during those periods that He is distant, and it is so hard for me when He is, and you always wonder when will He rescue us from this dark hour or days upon days, at times it keeps coming and we don’t have a chance to heal from the last valley of darkness, and at times we still pray and ask for help, you see we are learning to be obedient just like Jesus, Jesus learned obedience from suffering [“Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.”] (Heb. 5:8) God wants us to be more like Jesus, and I want to be more like Jesus so I guess we all have to go through these dark times to learn obedience and to enjoy the dark times and praise the Lord for them, we all have to grow, and if this is what it takes so be it. We would be nothing with out our identity in Christ, a certain growth in character and as Christians we all need to go through this, I thought I was the only one but there are so many more that are wondering the same thing, the ones who live in darkness, we are the crucified ones, or the chosen ones, if we don’t fulfill what God wants us to do then we might have to go through this whole thing all over again, or God will choose someone else and I so much want to help people and I want to be a part of giving glory to God, some do never make it and they never fulfill there purpose on earth, you see once we do get the anointing the tests will come and I have been going through them with out any power in fact they have made me afraid, because they just keep coming, but now that I no it is part of the plan my mind is at ease and I will not be afraid because I know how much time God has invested into each one of us. We have to make it to the next level and then we can do what we are supposed to do, we can’t give up and we can’t throw in the old towel, we have to be persistent, even though we are hurting and suffering and we don’t know the end, only God knows and He is the one that lays out the track for us to travel and we have to trust in Him no matter what. Each one of us is chosen for a specific purpose in this vast Kingdom and we all want to be a part in it. So the question remains are we passing the tests are we doing the will of God are we handling the warfare, are we taking the tests to learn more and more obedience. We all have to understand that these tests will involve a great adversity. The Lord learned obedience through suffering, and even though we are simple children we will do our best to please the Lord, and we know the tests that God has prepared for us may be some whoppers, but we have to pass them to be in His service. God has a motive for each and every person on this planet and we are nothing but children but if we follow the Lord and watch His steps then and only then we will pass. He wants us to go beyond everything we have gone through before so if you are ready to become a true child of God, just say I will do it Father an I will make it Lord, please don’t forget about me, please be with me each time I go out the door. We have to fail at different times so God is able to pick us up. We know God is the most heaviest being alive and He wants us to be apart of Him so My friend or friends, It is a new level of love a new level of discernment, it is a new level of trust and a new level of being awake at this point in time this is how The Church Ministries will be to complete its mission, We have to understand that the tests up ahead may be rough. So as we go through all these changes and achieve these gifs of the Holy Spirit we are able to get so close to God we will be almost pure spirit with only a minor piece of earthly flesh within us. And as we climb each step on the ladder He will have an angel there to guide each step because God wants us to make it to the next level this way we can even communicate a lot easier, we will be almost ready to think our voice in the spirit, and God will be so pleased to see one of His children make it to the next level because He loves us so much. Most of you all know I have suffered spiritual abuse and with some people I feel gifted, because some people really don’t come out of it. There are many people today that fall into cults, and never get out, or they need special exit counselors to help them deal in life without the cult, and some can’t take it and they give up and go back. There was one cult I fell into and it seemed so true to life and even the anointing was there, but we know that Satan can copy anything, even the anointing. There are full blown religions and denominations that are full blown cults, and boy I feel sorry for those people, if we could only get to a few of them to show them that they are worshiping a man and not Jesus Christ, if we could just break off a piece and at least have some of these people understand that they are not going to heaven believing in something that is false, like a bible that is especially written just for their belief, and they still come out and knock on your doors and fully believe in their changed worded bible, they know their word at least some of it but when you give then the old (2Cor. 13:5) [“Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you unless indeed you fail the test?”] They don’t think Jesus Christ lives in them. They freak out when they here it. We are not allowed to let them enter into the house because of scripture: [“If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.”] (2John 1:10-11) I admit that I should not even talk to them at all, but my knowledge of the bible I was able to go up against there false doctrine, as long as I stand on the porch and somehow I do not greet them, because in the word it says you can’t greet them, or say hello, I used to steer around it and never say any type of greeting. I am now to weak to be out there and talk for any length of time I just say something to make them think, when I send them off on their merry way. When I was healthy years ago, I would stand out on the porch and go at it, just using scripture, and they would bring a different bible guy each time more educated in their fake bible, until I would meet the leader of their group and then we have a bible conference. But you see if I can get the young ones that don’t really know why they believe what they believe. And make there word look foolish then as they would walk away and I would hear them say things like did you get anything out of what that guy said, anyway I do not know how many seeds were planted. But I know I did some damage because they would always bring back an older guy to represent them and he would do all the talking [“The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.”] (Ecc. 12:13-14) One of the great mysteries of God are the ways He does things. Some of the things God does He brings us to the ultimate places of darkness. You would think at times He is just turning His head from our burdens or our troubles, but with me I have had so many misfortunes that God has been giving me all the blessings, to keep me going. Remember I have a prayer ministry everyday that I work on 365 days a year for the last 29 months, there are days that I am just to sick or in to much pain that I can’t make it but I have it set up that all the prayer requests come right into my email. You see everyone can get prayed for but not everyone can get a prayer letter from me, but I feel I should send out as many as my body tells me to. The prayer requests that go into The Church itself I have to answer as soon as possible, and there have been some days I cannot even move or I just lay there for days, or if I need to pray I pop in a Jesus tape to relax me. When you live in the unknown you don’t ever know what is going to happen next. Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams] To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it). God Bless Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org

Sometimes I wish we all could just reach out to God and ask for healing for everyone, and see God’s glory manifest right before all our eyes, and see the complete healing of all our people. "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. (Matt. 18:18-19) That is all we have to do is agree, it is written that way and all we have to do is agree in prayer with a part of the family, a friend, a group, or neighbor or with anyone with the same accord. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, `Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:23-24)

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. (Rom. 8:11) We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the devil's strongholds. With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ. (2Cor.10:3-5) Our key to conquering disbelief and doubt is reading God’s word, and to actually look for the answers to all our problems right there. Yes we do have to battle with the devil, he is the one that fills our minds with all sorts of fear and skepticism, and he tries to make us forget that we have the power over him through Christ. Jesus has suffered great lengths for us to be free from these strongholds of pain, suffering, sickness, and disease, or what ever hardship we are going through. If we are a part of Jesus and the Spirit of God is in us, there is nothing that we cannot conquer, but some of us get blinded, hurt, and we go though aches, anxiety, illness or other ailments, but all these things come from the evil one, they don’t come from God. God will sometimes permit things to happen, and we can go through incredible amounts of suffering, struggles, worry, or fear. but we know God permits these things to make us stronger, or to gain wisdom, or to become closer to Him, or share the burden with Him, or there are reasons we don’t understand for now. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil, in the heavenly realms. (Eph. 6:10-12) The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14) I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:19-20) we have to remain strong no matter what, it might be a test of faith, don’t forget we are in a war here on this earth, and the Lord loves us, and all things have a reason. And it is not up to us to ask God why, it is up to us to say, use me Lord, through all our troubles and sorrows. I bid you all a great peace and tranquility through our Lord, God bless you all, Rev Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org

I am praying for you and your friends for guidance, This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. (1John 5:3-4) As our world gets darker and the signs of the times grow closer, and we all need the element of prayer and friendship to keep our faith strong to battle most anything that will come our way. We as Christians have to help each other which in the end run will improve our whole lives. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (2Pet 1:3-4). So my prayers are with you, and I hope will comfort you, we are all facing some sort of test or struggle or pain, or some other affliction. We all must take hold of our wonderful God and become closer in heart, so we ourselves can comfort the ones that need help and healing so desperately. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (Prov.3:7-8). We are placed on this planet to love one another, to express our compassion and consideration for others, if we don’t, we are not following what Jesus asked us to do. He truly loved us and did lay down His life for all of us. "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will leave the sheep because they aren't his and he isn't their shepherd. And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. The hired hand runs away because he is merely hired and has no real concern for the sheep. "I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice; and there will be one flock with one shepherd. (John 10:11-16) Yes we are all to become one, just as Jesus and the Father are one. It is our duty to share what we have with others and to utilize the blessings God has given to us, to assist all our brothers and sisters in their time of need. "But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. On the day when I act, you will tread upon the wicked as if they were dust under your feet," says the LORD Almighty. (Mal. 4:2-3) I will praise you, LORD, for you have rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. O LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health. (Psalm 30 1-2) "LORD, help!" they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He spoke, and they were healed--snatched from the door of death. (Psalm 107:19-20) My prayers are with you and my loyalty will stay with you as you go through these difficult times, we are all in this together and we need to stay together to complete the full Body of Christ, so that none of us will suffer or be alone.

God Bless you, Rev. Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org

Like yesterday I felt the attacks getting stronger, and I talked with that new pastor friend of mine and he settled me down so much I didn’t even have to take a pill. My last letter was one of those late nights slapped all together. And I also wanted to express my gratitude to you just for the prayers for me, I know that deep down inside you have devoted a lot of time in prayer for me, and I can feel those times. I am amazed the peace and joy I received when I just picked up the card, it felt like some one really cared and when I opened it to find a more bigger blessing inside, I was almost shocked and felt the chills run down my spine, you know when I first got into the ministry in 86 I was getting rushes like that just as I was sitting in a church or the mission many years ago, I don’t get them anymore, except the other day, it has been a long time to really feel loved from a human standpoint, my mother helps me but she has know idea of the horrible things she says, sometimes the words just eat at me days after, and that is why my main doctor tells me not to even to talk with her, you know there was 4 days back in Sept that I didn’t have any pain in my mouth, and the funny thing about is I had to call my mother that Sunday and that Sunday night I started feeling the pain coming back and I even rebuked the whole thought, but for some reason everything did came back, so it has to be something or some tie with them, (parents). My doctor and I did spend more than hours breaking the ties with my parents in prayer. If I was ok and preaching or just making enough to survive I would not ever call her. I do feel sorry for her, hopefully she will learn to be at least saved, from all the conversations and prayers, I must honor my parents, and I can not have any hate whatsoever in my bones and heart. And I don’t think I do, I have been hurt pretty bad, most all my memories are of people hurting me with no call for there actions, I love people, and I wish there were more people like us that truly care and are on the same road, or just the same wavelength. You take someone like my dad even though he hates me so much; I still would like him some day to just put his arm around me. I love to pray and send kind words to people with a bit of scripture because the word is alive, and it holds pieces of God within each word, and it is amazing that for some reason I wish I could get the prayer ministry back as strong as it was a year ago. I have been sitting on that same couch praying and in tears, for a long time, that is also where I sleep, it has been many long years since I slept on a bed steadily, it has been the couch for almost 6 years, there is another story behind it and of course my chosen act of celibacy, and I don’t think it was my decision it was God’s plan for it to be this way. How can I even begin to ever complain when I have people like you in my life, you know it washes all the scares of my mistreatment history coming from others, and all I think about is of loving others, or how can I help others, ever since I was a little boy, I never wanted to be like my parents and I did want to be far different from them. They played there roll and for sod within the community and there was only one man that knew them both, and one day we met and that one meeting in High School saved my life, many times more then once. Just imagine a conversation giving me enough strength to make it through all the brutal torture in the prison system, you see all of us have good things that happen to us that stick to our minds like the other day, a gift like yours will give me more faith and strength and confidence to not only fight the war against evil, but the remembrance of that day will give me the ability to focus on winning the war against evil. If you really break all this down, I also had some friends send me some vitamins and they are doing so much psychologically now, because they will not only help with my health they will help me be calm, plus to sleep a full night would be a blessing that cannot be even explained, you don’t know how much torment I have been going through, and when the body doesn’t rest, the evil one can toy with your brain even more, and you can’t even group your thoughts together, because you are fighting a battle in the mind, that is basically all he can do, and I should not even give him any credit or even writing these in to words, but his power now will diminish and I will not speak or write anymore of what havoc and stress, I have been under, I mean I have been worrying all for nothing, and that is bad and it is sinful, even for a man like me plus all the teaching I have received and most of the pertinent teaching came from the Lord, not in a classroom. Some of classrooms I was in as I look back were destroying me instead of giving me any edification. What a world you can go to religious classes and get destroyed? That is why I wanted the church to be more of a success not for riches or to be some showoff for myself, but to see people’s faces when they are fed, or when you can say the right words or scripture to them, or you can give them comfort from their grief, or just to let them know they are ok and they are safe and loved. I want God to get the Glory; I just want to watch love and compassion in action. I so much just wanted to be one of God’s instruments to heal people and I have been asking God that for the past decade and probably longer. You have out done yourself and I will never forget these past days, and I know our Lord will not either.

"I hate all your show and pretense--the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won't even notice all your choice peace offerings. Away with your hymns of praise! They are only noise to my ears. I will not listen to your music, no matter how lovely it is. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, a river of righteous living that will never run dry. Amos 5:21-24 NLT

Here again in this passage we have to really study on these words. God is furious. People at that time were really wealthy and they were not helping the poor and needy. They were flaunting their own riches and not sharing what should have been done to help the poor. You see, we are right back to the beginning, not worshipping in truth and what we are taught. People again are just going through the gestures, only going along with everyone else, putting on a show, and God realizes that He is hating there festivals and assembly’s. Again we see the game of it all. We are to share what we have and come to Our Lord with true offerings, not just a show of an offering, without being in spirit and in truth with true love to God and His people, with true repentance and full worship from the heart it is all so meaningless. So here in Amos, God is mad he doesn’t want to listen to them or even to hear them. Not even their songs of praise. Here we are again looking at the church of today, we are out for conversations and gossiping, forgetting the reason why we are here. The reason we are hear, in church is to worship God of the universe. Church is not a social club and yet some do go to this day to meet friends and love ones. They are forgetting the whole reason why they are their. That is why God is so furious then with Israel. It makes you think about how God feels about the Churches today, with so many divisions sects, and different beliefs, and now we have so many cult groups actually changing the word of God. Some are rewriting their own Bible and not even believing that Jesus Christ is The Son Of God. In the same sense how can God be pleased with false teachings and false worship? He does not even want a lukewarm Church. He wants a Church that is on fire for his love and worship. Would you listen to a group of Hippocrates singing songs to you when they do not believe? God wants us all to come to repentance open our hearts to Him and worship in spirit and in truth, care for all our poor, and holds together rich or poor to be as one, with one accord, to empty all transgressions, sins, and prejudice. God wants us to become as one as The Father and Jesus are one, and we can approach God as one.

Life’s loneliness means far less to them while home shields them and blesses them with its companionships and its gentle, patient, wise, helpful, nourishing love. But sometimes the home is pulled down over youth and its shelter broken up. Few things are sadder than homeliness. Loneliness begins to be really felt when the home is gone, when there is no longer a wise and loving mother to give her counsel in life’s inexperience, to lay her hand on the head in approval, to listen to eager questions and answer them, to restrain the impulsive spirit, to quiet the soul when it is troubled and when its peace is broken, to lead through difficult paths, to fill the hungry heart with the comfort of love when it longs for sympathy and companionship. Bitter indeed is the sense of loneliness when a young person, used to all that a mothers love means, turns away from a mothers grave to miss the middle of the day rewards and the blessings that have been so much in the past. Nothing earthly will in any full and enough measure compensate for the loss. Other human friendships may be very sweet, but they will not give back home, with its shelter, its affection, its trust, its guidance, its soothing, its security. Only less lonely is it for the young people whom circumstances take away in early years from the home where through childhood their life has been gently nourished. The home still stands, and the love is still there with all its blessed warmth, and letters can be sent and received, and now and then there can be a return for a brief stay in the sacred shelter. This lightens the loss and the loneliness; yet even this experience is often times a very sad one. Away from home there is always a loss not of love only, but also of protection. The young people, who leave quiet rural homes for life in the midst of a great city, plunge into perils from which only Christ can shield them.

But blessed is that life which in an earthly homelessness can say, “Yet I am not alone, because Christ is with me.” Blessed is that loneliness or homelessness which has Christ to fill the emptiness. With Christ unseen yet loved and made real to the heart by love and faith, even a room in a boarding house may become a home, a sanctuary of peace, a shelter of divine love. Another time of special loneliness is when sorrow strips off the sweet friendships of life. Old age is an illustration. Old people are often times very lonely. Once they were the center of groups of friends and companions who clustered about them. But the years brought their changes. Now the old man stands alone. Still the streets are full; but where are the faces of forty, fifty, years ago? There is a memory of vacant chairs, of marriage altars with the unbinding and the separations that followed. The old faces are gone. It is young life that now fills the home, the street, the church, and the old people are lonely because their old friends are gone.

Yet in Christ even old age can say, “I am not alone.” No changes in life can take him away. He is the companion of life’s weakness. He loves the old people. There is a special promise for them: “Even to old age I am he and even to hit the mark I will carry you.” Christian old age is very near to glory. It will not be long till the old people reach home to stand again in the middle of the circle of loved ones who blessed their youth and early years.

But not the old people only are left lonely by life’s changes; sorrow touches all ages and if we have not Christ when other friends are taken, isolated indeed shall we be. Blessed is that life, any life, which, when human friends are taken away, finds the friendship of Christ all filling, all-satisfying, and can say, “Yet I am not alone, for Christ is with me.”

The loneliest of all human experiences is that of dying. We cannot die in clusters, not even two and two; we must die alone. Human hands must unclamp ours as we enter the valley of shadows. Human faces must fade from our vision as we pass into the haze. “I cannot see you,” said one dying, as the loved ones stood about the bed. So it will be with each one of us in turn. Human love cannot go beyond the edge of the valley. But we need not be alone even in the deepest of all loneliness, for if we are Christ’s we can say, “Yet I am not alone, for my Savior is with me.” When human hands unclasp, his will clasp ours the more firmly. When human loved faces fade out, his will shine above us in all its glorious brightness. When we must creep out of the bosom of human affection, it will be only into the clasp of the everlasting arms, into the bosom of Christ. Deaths loneliness will thus be filled with divine companionship. The assumption from all this is our absolute need of the friendship and companionship of Christ, without which we can only sink away into life’s loneliness and perish. One reason, no doubt, why our lives are so full of experiences of need, is that we may learn to walk with Christ. If earth’s human companionships satisfied us, and if we never lost them, we might not care for Christ’s. If earth’s homes were perfect, and if they never crumbled, we might not grow homesick for heaven.

Each candle has a different light, and needs a different care and love, each candle is set on a different hill, with different winds to fight to stay lit, and some are fighting each in there own way to just stay lit. Some of their bodies are melting away, and it is our job as the church to share our wax with others and to replenish the Body, of each and every soul to stay lit through this dark and drifting windy world. We are to keep the wick clean and to stand tall so the flame burns bright, and continues to stay with full glow.

As you have noticed in this world there are many colors and sizes and shapes of different candles, they all need different care and tending to. In many different ways we must all stick and stay and group together to form a great light, to be that city on a hill, did you ever see a large amount of candles or light on top of great hill in the mountains standing out, it is such a beautiful sight. The light shines over all the darkness of the rest of the forest and valleys. And each city is burning and flickering and illuminating in a different way. With out sharing and caring and love for each other you might find that one particular farm house standing alone, and the light that illuminates from it is very dim.

So there are candles out there burning all alone, and those are the ones that need more light to see and maintain the truth. They need more light to come to them to edify strengthen, and express the power of God to stay lit in this changing world. It is the ones that are alone that are very vulnerable for that gust of wind from evil, can very easily put out the flame without let us say “fellowship” of other candles of light, or that lonely candle may live in darkness forever. And it is our job to find the lonely burning candles and bring more light and hope to sustain there victory through this fallen world.

It has been harder and harder for me to even think, I saw my doctor on Friday and I have been running a bad temp, and she gave me a new prescription for pain and I have never went through so much mishap or strangeness in my entire life this just keeps coming and it just doesn’t end, here I am telling the doctor how the secretary is destroying peoples lives, and she knew, and told me someone almost died because of her, and she still is working there, here I am making a serious call at 9 a.m. and I call at 11:45 and she hasn’t even checked the messages from the whole weekend yet, and I went on a roller coaster ride for the weekend, that is nothing, I am used to it. I have never been so upset over this woman and I keep from getting angry, and here I am got all my wording written out I wait till 3 to take a shower and I am cold already, sick and as soon as I get completely wet the phone rings and it is my doctor, but of course I knew that was going to happen before it happened anyway, you know it doesn’t bother me any more, it just keeps going on and on. When does the war stop, it is getting to a point where I just don’t know what to say, I am in prayer late and lie there and talk to God, and wake up pray, stay in the bible and stay in it all morning, and then do my work, for the past three nights I haven’t been able to do anything, I wrote a short sermon but these new meds had me staring at a paragraph for two hours in between pacing and shaking, and sweating and freezing. Today I am ok, I stopped taking the stuff on Saturday, I have to go into town and pick up a new prescription tomorrow and I pray that everything just works out normally, my jaw was this morning killing me and my gums were a pounding ache. I tried to eat just some soft food like I was starving and that was on Saturday it is like I have to stick to the blender, and I am just getting more and worse reactions to everything, I just don’t get all of this. I wanted to tell you guys again that you are so close to my heart, and I have been feeling better with all the stuff you sent, and then I come down with an even higher tempeture, and I am pleading to God to give me another chance to let me get out there an help some people or do something for the Kingdom, when you are just so sick and cannot do anything, I wonder what to do. I mean I got so much love and compassion to give, and I just know how people feel when I get close to them, what is my sin, my mind is flooded with thoughts of pills, and I don’t want it to be apart of idolatry. It’s like I want to come off this stuff now, and I know what road I face when I do, and sometimes I don’t even know if I am going to make it to this appointment with the specialist on Monday, and I dread the flying and just going through the security, last time they held me up for bible pencils and almost missed the plane, what is it going to be this time? I came across another disease, which I found through an email from another ministry which I spent along time pulling out all the references to mouth pain and I gathered 3 pages at the end, this new one is called RSD/CRPS spelled out would be Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome/ Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which usually effects the legs and arms, but there are many cases in the mouth. Well I have been monitoring your prayers and heard about your problems with the management with praying with and for the pts and the staff, and I find it totally nuts, what kind of world do we live in, has everyone just sided with satan and have already have taken the mark of the beast? They say anyone that doesn’t have the spirit of God in them they are being lead by satan and his agents or darkness, and now this new church I have been going to, the wife of the pastors are always the ones pulling the husband away from me. I made a call on Thursday after the pastor called me and came over and that day I was sitting in the parking lot trying to get supplies, sick as a dog, and I almost went to the ER, and here I call the house after he tells me call him 24hours a day, she wouldn’t let me talk to him, and I even doubt that she even told him how I felt, and he never called back, and here is a man that says I am not going to leave you alone up here. I am just shaking my head at all of this, am I supposed to get stronger from all of this, should I want to fight more for the truth , what is it now? All I want to do is help people, and give them comfort and I can’t even right a prayer for you two. Dear Father, Day and night are Yours; Heaven and earth declare Your Glory. We are individuals made through Your power and riches, but have I have sinned against You by resisting the conviction of my conscience? Am I ignoring the demands of Your law and the call of Your Gospel? We are very fortunate to live in the era of Your grace and mercy, but this same era has existing compounded evil before all of us. Give us the strength to fight for goodness, our hearts are full of love for Your word, sharing, and wisdom, and we want to declare Your love for others, we want to help others, and we are getting hurt because we are up against the walls of darkness. Deliver us from worldly tendencies, for we are born of You God, and destined for happiness, and we find happiness doing and serving others. We fix our gaze and desire on Holiness as the source of beauty and dignity for our souls and darkness is still prevailing amongst us. Please help us; please help us to help others. In Jesus name, Amen

I have been getting hit by the blanket of evil time and time again. I just keep praying and keep hoping and love in my heart. My hernia surgery went well, except for the fact that I feel I went through a post traumatic stress disorder when they let me out of there that day, (they didn’t know how much medication I was already taking and for how long), and the day before I took that trip to Honolulu for my 1 year wait to be diagnosed and this guy spent a whole 15 mins. with me, told me I have a cavern in my brain and a clot of iron blood but don’t worry about it, let us know if they start to bleed, then we will have to do something, and go to the mainland to some university to get diagnosed. That I will never forget. I finally got checked on the 2 day of March for the double hernia surgery , and that looked good, which was only a month late, but this town of Hilo is very low on surgeons, and they have one new young doctor running everything, taking up the slack for my surgeon that got sent to Iraq, and a few retired, and one is to old, so I do praise God that I did get the surgery by my buddy before he left, he was the best, and he was a close friend. That day of March 2nd and since then I have been running a high temp, and I am back on antibiotics, and had another roller coaster ride this weekend from the change of the pain medication. Which is another unbelievable story; maybe I should make a book on short stories of the days and life of being attacked. I just don’t know where to begin, I did have to send back that present, I just felt it was the right thing to do. You two have been such a blessing to me anyway, and the thoughts of you both lie deep within my heart. I have been getting a bit more sensitive, which has or is good, Jesus was very sensitive. I see another specialist next Monday 2 days before my birthday, last year it was on my birthday walking around Honolulu with swollen feet keeping an early neurologist appointment that was set up by a secretary that was fired and didn’t need to go there in the first place. Then I had to walk to the infectious disease doctor carrying films and reports and bibles, who made a wrong guess anyway and I had to give myself those bags of antibiotics for 6 weeks for nothing. That is when I stopped playing the 12 string and the bass because of that pick line in me. That was a nice birthday present. The last time I went to Honolulu on the 4th of Jan. this year security held me up and almost missed my plane because of me carrying bible pencils, so I wonder what it is going to be this time. This Rheumatologist is the detective type, and now I have something new I can hand him which I have been doing research on it is called RSD/CRPS spelled out would be Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome/ Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which usually effects the legs and arms, but there are many cases in the mouth. Plus I will carry all my films this time, I hope this guy cares and doesn’t treat me as an indigent. The new church I have been attending well I guess is not working out, I am close with the pastor, but he has a worldly job too, and he really isn’t a man of his word, and here we go again the wife of the pastor broke my heart, and never related the message, and didn’t even tell him or let me talk to him when I needed to the most, he also experienced the great way the secretary of my doctor has been destroying my life and many others in more ways than one, and I had to tell my doctor on Friday the whole story and even today when I needed to talk with the doctor she decided not to check all the messages from the whole weekend till some time after 2pm, so now I am into another day of suffering till tomorrow. So are you both well? My prayers are with you as always, I haven’t heard from you in a while, which I guess is probably my fault, the way my mind has been getting destroyed with all this stuff and that other ministry takes a lot of time for free, the sermons and just doing add ons to the site is taking time and energy and all the spam mail I have to go through everyday. Not that I am making excuses I have been very week and my thinking is under darkness with these attacks. So this pastor wants to give me a day like Thurs. or Saturday night to preach, then I told him my idea for the Saturday night service, a mixture of music where the family could bring the kids, and have a combination drama and then a short sermon, then the whole family could go out together for and outing to bowling or pizza etc. He liked my idea so much he started making calls to other drama people, and haven’t really talked about it since, besides I have been trained in all fields of drama, dance and can play 3 or more instruments and sing like a bird, but maybe I should not tell anyone of my past experiences, maybe I’ll wait till I get my own church, I don’t have the energy now anyway, and there is another thing, I am now afraid to drive, so I am more or less trapped 4 miles away from town, no neighbors, kind of all alone, I figured that it would bring me closer to God, and it has but there are many days I just sit here and cry with know one to talk to. I mean I do make an effort, but let us be realistic there isn’t many people like the way I am around here, with pure love toward God and Christ, head in the bible a lot and reading books, but then there are days I can’t read, or I can not right a prayer out for the people that need it. I just plead with God to make me well again, and to give me another chance not being thankful enough for what I have. I mean I am ok, but there are many days I cannot do anything, and just getting ready to go to town just to get supplies is like a trek to another land, and I am exhausted after it all. I am back down to 128 with my clothes on. So just wanted to say hi, and to thank you for your love and compassion, understanding and your friendship.

I am praying, I come in truth, hope, faith and love that your heart and all things that are troubling you may completely vanish through the word of the Lord. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.” (Rom 14:17-18) Today people are pretty much confused about love and prayer, or to care and give themselves for someone else and to send the word of God to another to edify and to comfort during times of trouble and heartbreak, but we are just people that have the attitude of Christ in our hearts, to help during struggling times. Love and prayer is the utmost combination of all human qualities, and it is an element and sharing our hearts to God. Love and prayer involves unselfish service to others, and it shows and gives the evidence that we care. Faith is the essence and foundation of God’s message, hope is the feelings, thoughts, attitude, and focus; and love and prayer combined is the action. When faith and hope are gathered properly, then we are free to love and pray and care completely because we now understand how God loves us. So in turn God hears us, with loving ears, remember God is love. “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God's judgment.” (Rom. 5:8-9) So if Christ came to save us from God’s judgment through all eternity, So He will hear us and answer us with our prayers here on earth. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb. 12:1-3) So rejoice in the LORD and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure! (Psalm 32:11) “Heal me, O LORD , and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” (Jer. 17:14) “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”(Isa. 53:5) This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." (Neh. 8:10b) ”Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1John 4:7-12) “This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2Cor. 9: 12-15) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Jos. 1:9) “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19) “My dear brothers and sisters, may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.” (Gal.6:18) “We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil's strongholds. With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ.” 2Cor. 10:3-5 “My dear brothers and sisters, may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.” (Gal.6:18) God Bless, Rev Paul www.thechurch-ministries.org

I wish I could say more but these are a few scriptures that we all know, and how we are forgiven, and how much God loves us, there are so many more, with good explanations to each one. Tuesday night I was hit very hard and I thought I was going to die. I must have told you about the weekend, where my doctor put me on some new pain pill, and had bad effects on me, so on Tuesday I didn’t eat right and had to get supplies and I got some new pills, and then I wrote to everyone I could, I went to sleep with a headache and I woke up at 3 am, sick, threw up went back to sleep and got up again and threw up twice more till about 9, I could not hold down any pills, then I was scared, It is a long story and I was sick all day yesterday and today. And still have a headache am still dizzy and I feel just slightly better then yesterday. I didn’t even turn on the computer yesterday. I don’t get all of this I didn’t want to call the doctor again she would have either thought I was nuts or put me in the hospital and that I could not take. I read over the things you sent and all this denouncing is really not that essential. We have Jesus and the Father and we are lead by the Holy Spirit, I believe we are in good hands already and with the word too, and our prayers and relationships we have to God, I don’t see if you would have to go through such an extreme. I think by now you have confessed every sin, and if you feel like talking to Jesus and go through the list just you and Him, The Holy Spirit will enlighten your heart, go with your insides if you even end up finishing the list, the day we welcomed Jesus into our hearts and asked forgiveness of all our sins I think that covers it. I wish I could think a bit clearer and I have to write Randy, he has done so much with prayer and emails and gifts that I have to thank him, but I think I should lay back down, read over these scriptures and then see how you feel. The word always helps me, God Bless, My prayers are with you, Paul

I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. (1John 2:12) My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: (1John 2:1-5) This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1John 4:9-11) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1John 1:7) No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. (1John 3:6) Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst. (1Tim. 1:15) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:8) For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. (Rom. 5:19) "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. (Isa. 43:25) This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (Heb. 8:10-12) All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” Acts 10:43 Then acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "- and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah (Psalm 32:5) On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matt. 9:12-13) "But if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed and keeps all my decrees and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die. None of the offenses he has committed will be remembered against him. Because of the righteous things he has done, he will live. Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD . Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? (Eze. 18:21-23) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9) God Bless, Rev Paul

There is an old story, I have gone through many a bible teacher and theology, and there was one man at the end of the course and most of the good ones have already went through taught and gone but this one teacher seamed to light up the room, and everyone wanted to pay attention, and he taught very well, and we all wanted to know what was so different about him, why did we react the way we did, why did we feel the way we did when he came in the room, until one of the guys just went up and asked him, and he told him he goes down the list of students and makes a prayer for each one of them, heavy story, prayer made a difference. Well I am healing from last week, but then again hopefully the sky doesn’t fall in on me by then, this last week was test Paul for new pills week and I thought I was sick before, or being tormented and attacked or going through trials or tribulation before, but this is getting ridiculous, all I can do is sit on the word, (1 Cor.10-13). I guess if I was a normal person without the Spirit of God living in me, I would not be here today and that is a fact and the truth, I mean everyone has problems and everyone goes through the valleys and at least hits upon a mountain peek now and again, but I mean I am not only in the valley I am buried in the caves, I mean all I can say it could be worse and I thank my God and praise the God of Israel, Last weekend it was the beginning of the new pills, and I was in a oblivion and a state of mind that I could not explain, all I do know is I could not do anything just stare at the TV and I don’t watch TV, then it was hand in these new pills that I got a reaction from and try these on Tuesday, and from 3am to 10am Wednesday, I was throwing up so bad that blood was coming out at each end of every round, and of course the acid was tearing up my mouth. Then which came along with a series of migraines, constipation and diarrhea all at the same time. I had to live in the bathroom on Friday. I didn’t take anymore of those pills of course. Then I am off to Honolulu on Monday to another specialist and this doctor is really good, thank God, but he doesn’t have a clue what is going on, even with all the films and reports covering the lie down doctors table but he is interested and does want to help me and ordered more blood work and a lot of it, and my ride home ended with no ride home, my truck broke down now it is in the shop and last night I had to battle with the biggest spider in my life, and I can not even find anything that even looks like it on the web. 2 hours of panic moving everything, and finally a squirt bottle of isopropyl alcohol got him to slow down and I was able to smash him it was so big still after I pounded it then it looked like a squashed giant hockey puck. I got most of the blood work done today, but I have to go to the hospital for a special one, they have to use a heated syringe and heated bottles and kept heated. At least now I can eat it was only a 12 hour fast but ended up to be abut 24, how was I going to eat going in and out of cabs and planes when I have to eat out of a blender. And it was too late to eat when I got home. And here I am running around downtown today, with no vehicle. I got a ride into town with the tow truck driver. Interesting week, maybe I should lie down. Take care my brother, But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear; and I was rescued out of the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (2 Tim.4:17-18)

I remember I was almost shocked and felt the chills run down my spine, you know when I first got into the ministry in 86’ I was getting rushes like that just as I was sitting in a church or the mission many years ago, I don’t get them anymore, except today, it has been a long time to really feel loved from a human standpoint, my mother helps me but she has know idea of the horrible things she says, sometimes the words just eat at me days after, like go live in a tent, how do I run a church in a tent, where do I put the equipment up? Right she is not saved and thinks the church is not making any money so why do I bother every weekend writing the Sunday Sermon, and that is why my main doctor tells me not to even to talk with her, you know there was 4 days back in Sept 04’ that I didn’t have any pain in my mouth, and the funny thing about is I had to call my mother that Sunday and that Sunday night I started feeling the pain coming back and I even rebuked the whole thought, but for some reason everything did come back, so it has to be something or some tie with them, (parents). My doctor and I did spend many hours in prayer trying to reverse or just break the ties or what ever was bonding us, I always felt better leaving there. I do feel sorry for my mother, hopefully she will learn to be at least saved, from all the conversations and prayers, I call her every Sunday and she hangs up on me or says call me when something good happens, sometimes she will help me, and be like a normal mom, it is different every time I call. You all know being a Christian you’re going to fight persecution, and if you are a pastor you have a target on your back for all evil attacks, but I must honor my parents, and I can not have any hate whatsoever in my bones and heart. And I don’t think I do, I have been hurt pretty bad, most all my memories are of people hurting me with no call for there actions, I love people, and I wish there were more people like us that truly care and are on the same road, or just the same wavelength. You take someone like my dad even though he does not even talk to me or care about my sicknesses, maybe he does, but he has never told me. I still would like him some day to just put his arm around me and say I love you son. I love to pray and send kind words to people with a bit of scripture because the word is alive, and it holds pieces of God within each word, and it is amazing that for some reason I wish I could get the prayer ministry back as strong as it was a year ago. I have been sitting on that same couch praying and in tears, for a long time, that is also where I sleep, also the church office waiting room and prayer room, it has been many long years since I slept on a bed steadily, it has been the couch for almost 6 years, there is another story behind it and of course my chosen act of celibacy, and I don’t think it was my decision it was God’s plan for it to be this way. How can I even begin to ever complain when I have people like you in my life, you know it washes all the scares of my mistreatment history coming from others, and all I think about is of loving others, or how can I help others, ever since I was a little boy, I never wanted to be like my parents and I did want to be far different from them. They played there roll and for -sod within the community and there was only one man that knew them both and helped me, and one day we met and that one meeting in High School saved my life, many times over and over. Just imagine a conversation giving me enough strength to make it through all the brutal torture in the prison system, you see all of us have good things that happen to us that stick to our minds like today, a gift like yours will give me more faith and strength and confidence to not only fight the war against evil, but the remembrance of that day will gave me the ability to focus on winning the war against evil. The man looked at me that day and said “Paul I am very proud of you” I looked around the room looking for someone else he might have been talking to. Then he said it again, I said what- why, why do you say that? He said to me point blank, “I know your mother and I know your father, and I don’t believe you’re still sane.” You know how I felt, he was a fellow worker with my dad, and met my mother many times, but a man to bring a young boy in to a private office and say that, gave me more strength then 100 warriors. That is why I am still alive today. Plus of course God has set the destiny of my life and Jesus has been my love, and the Holy Spirit has given me the directions. Those few words stuck with me my whole life and gave me the strength when it was almost impossible to survive, or even exist. That just stuck in my mind from childhood, and got me through things that no man would have been able to handle. And everyone that knows me what ever I type is truth, because sometimes it is not me typing it. We must all remember one thing to bring us through the fire or out of the hole, we all have at least one memory, I would suggest you all hold on to that memory. Well enough of the past, let us get back to now, If you really break all this down, there are other things that are helping me, the vitamins are doing so much psychologically now, because they not only help with my health they will help me be calm, plus to help me sleep a full night almost, that would be a blessing, that cannot be even explained, you don’t know how much torment I have been going through, and when the body doesn’t rest, the evil one can toy with your brain even more, and you can’t even group your thoughts together, because you are fighting a battle in the mind, that is basically all he can do, and I should not even give him any credit or even writing these into words, but his power now will diminish and I will not speak or write anymore of what havoc and stress, I have been under, I mean I have been worrying all for nothing, and that is bad and it is terribly sinful, even for a man like me plus all the teaching I have received and most of the pertinent teaching came from the Lord, not in a classroom. Some of classrooms I was in as I look back were destroying me instead of giving me any edification. What a world you can go to religious classes and get destroyed? That is why I wanted The Church Ministries to be more of a accomplishment not for riches or to be some show-off for myself, but to see people’s faces when they are feed, or when you can say the right words or scripture to them, or you can give them comfort from their grief, or just to let them know they are ok and they are safe and loved. I want God to get the Glory; I want people to know what Jesus did for us, I just want to watch love and compassion in action. I so much just wanted to be one of God’s instruments to heal people and I have been asking God that for the past decade and probably longer. And He finally granted that, and that is all I ever wanted, so how can a man like me even worry at all?